alexisjane: (Gazes Into You)
alexisjane ([personal profile] alexisjane) wrote2015-07-30 10:55 am

[FIC] Gazes Into You - 8/27

<<<<< Chapter Seven / Masterpost



Chapter Eight


Jensen paced back and forth in the corridor, one hand holding his cell to his ear, the other clenched in his hair. When Chris finally picked up, his voice was tinny and distant.

"Kane."

"Chris. He woke up."

Chris laughed. "I know. I'm on my way."

"What should I do?" Jensen wiped at his mouth with the flat of his hand and made a mental note to punch Chris when he arrived as he laughed again.

"Well, you can stop freaking out. That might be a start."

"For fuck's sake, Chris, you know what I mean."

"I'm serious. If he starts asking awkward questions, just tell him I'll explain it when I get there."

"Or I could just –"

"No! Just...no. We could already be in a lot of trouble for this. Go sit with him and I'll be there as soon as I can. Okay?"

Jensen sighed. No, he was definitely not okay. He grumbled, "Just don't take too long." and hung up without waiting for a reply.

Jensen stood in the corridor, turning his cell over and over in his hands, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he contemplated making a run for it. He wasn’t sure if his passport was still valid. After a minute, he took a breath, somehow managing to remember that he was a grown man and even if he wasn't a cop anymore, he could still remember how to act like one and pretended he wasn't shaking like leaf as he made his way back to the room.

When he got to the door he put his hand out to just walk in, like he had done every other day but paused. He took a deep breath and knocked. There was a noise from within that could have been come in or go away but he took a chance and slowly opened it anyway.

Jared was sitting up in bed, looking at the paperback in his hands, holding it with the fingers of his cast hand and awkwardly flicking through the pages with the other, the paper catching on the strapping on his healing fingers.

He looked up when Jensen put his head around the door, and held up the book. "This is mine." It was more an accusation than statement of fact. His voice was raspy and raw but more than the whisper from the day before. Jensen could hear the timbre he recognized from the voicemail message beneath it and wondered whether the sound was going to rip him apart from the inside out. It sure as hell felt like it.

Jensen nodded and Jared went back to looking at the book. Jensen took that for permission to come in.

He picked up his coffee, so he didn't have to think about what to do with his hands and walked to lean against the wall opposite the bed, as Jared started to ask, "You got this from my apartment?" Jensen opened his mouth to speak, to explain, but thought better of it and just nodded. Jared sighed. "How bad is it?" Jensen frowned and shook his head not understanding what Jared was asking. "How bad is my place? I remember I left it unlocked...Christ, please don't tell me the only thing left was this stupid book?"

Jensen huffed out a laugh but realized that was a mistake as Jared's face became crestfallen. "Oh no, I'm sorry. I mean...it all seemed fine. Nothing appeared to have been taken. TV, laptop, Xbox...all still there." Jared let go of the breath he had been holding and relaxed. Jensen couldn't help add, "Although it did appear someone broke in and dumped a large quantity of take out boxes in your kitchen."

Jared looked at him in confusion, before a small smile crept onto his lips. "The bastards." Jensen nodded in agreement and smiled sheepishly. Jared looked away but the smile lingered.

Jensen bore the silence for about two seconds before cracking. He walked towards the chair he'd occupied for the last four days and asked, "So, you remember leaving your apartment. Do you remember anything else after that?"

Jared stiffened, his grip on the book tightening until his knuckles were white. He took a breath and tried to front it out, fixing Jensen with a questioning stare, and mostly stated, "You're not a cop."

Jensen eyebrows shot up and he suddenly felt his heart rate shoot up too. "You remember that, huh?"

"I remember," Jared said, not breaking eye contact. "I figure if you wanted to hurt me you've had plenty of opportunity already...so, who in the hell are you?"

Jensen's palms felt sweaty against the paper cup and he found himself sinking down into the visitor’s chair. For a second he ran through the truthful answer to that question, but opted for, "The Detective in charge of your case will be here soon. He'll explain everything."

"The cops are coming here?" Jared paled and tried to sit himself up straighter, pushing on his one good arm.

Jensen held up his hand as if he could stop Jared moving by sheer will alone. "It's okay! You're not in any trouble. And Detective Kane is a good guy. You don't have to be worried."

The words only seemed to placate Jared a little, but he nodded and his breathing returned to something nearer to normal. He rubbed his eyes with his good hand. "What do they know?"

Jensen shifted in the chair. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I don't know how much I can...Adrienne from the bar put out a Missing Person's report for you..." Jared smiled. He stopped when Jensen added, "They ran your prints, so you might want to bear in mind that they know you're Jared Padalecki before you start trying to convince anyone you're Jay Campbell."

Jared cursed under his breath and tried to shift his weight. He cried out as his damaged leg moved up the bed, the metal framework catching in the sheets. Jensen started to get up to help – he wasn't quite sure how but he reached forward on instinct – but Jared held up his hand to stop him. He sat for a moment, letting his head fall back onto the pillows, with his eyes closed, absorbing the pain.

Jensen sat and waited, slightly amazed that he was managing to keep himself together in the face of a living, breathing, talking Jared, and praying he could keep it up. He sipped his coffee and tried to keep his eyes from running along the length of Jared's exposed throat. Jared's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and Jensen absolutely did not think about gently taking it into his mouth or feeling Jared's stubble against his lips. He had to quickly look away, when Jared opened his eyes and asked, "What else?"

Jensen shrugged. "As far as I know, that's it. They have an idea about what...happened...from your injuries. I think they're hoping that you'll be able to..."

Jared lowered his head, eyes screwed up tight and started shaking his head, mumbling, "No, no, no..."

Jensen reached his hand out to take hold of Jared's wrist to comfort him, like he had done when Jared was unconscious, but stopped short, self-consciously laying his palm flat on the bed beside him. Softly, he said, "Jared. It's okay. You don't have to talk right now if you don't want to. You're in a safe place, and I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you–" He stopped abruptly when Jared's hand curled around his and held it tightly. After a moment, he seemed to calm and let go, bringing his palm up to cover his eyes.

"It's just Jay." Jared's voice was back to a whisper. "Everyone's always just called me Jay." He looked like he wanted to say more but turned his head away from Jensen and lay back on the pillows.

They sat in silence, Jared pretending to sleep and Jensen picking at the rim of his paper cup, until Chris arrived. A nurse came in to check on Jared's pain levels and write up his chart, and when he opened the door to leave, Jensen could see Chris in the corridor talking with a doctor.

Jensen sat up and cleared his throat. Jared stirred, looking at him but then immediately followed Jensen's gaze to look at the door as it opened and Chris walked in.

"Mr Padalecki? I'm Detective Kane. It's good to see you awake at last." Chris was smiling, keeping his tone soft and pleasant but Jensen couldn't help but see the way Jared had paled when he came through the door. Jared didn't speak, just nodded, so Chris went on. "I was hoping to ask you a few questions, if you feel up to it."

Jared didn't really react, just kept his eyes on the badge on Chris's belt. Chris looked questioningly at Jensen, who shrugged and got up out of the chair, saying, "Well, I guess I should leave you to it..."

"No!" Jared looked at him, panicked. "No, please, don't leave."

Chris looked at Jensen for a moment, and then said quietly, "That's okay with me." Jensen nodded but still relinquished the visitor’s seat to go lean up against the window.

Chris took a breath, and opened his notebook. "I know this is going to be difficult, so don't feel like you have to tell me everything right now. We can take it slow. Do you remember anything of what happened?"

Jared's face was pale and his voice blank. "I fell."

Jensen straightened from where he had been resting. He and Chris shared a glance. Chris turned back to Jared, and asked, "You fell from the bridge?"

Jared nodded. "Yes. I fell. I tripped and fell. It was an accident."

Chris huffed out a breath and tapped his notebook with his pen. "Mr Padalecki, we have a witness that saw three men pushing you over the side of the bridge..."

"No..."

"Are you saying that's not what happened?"

"No, I fell..."

"...because that seems unlikely given the extent of your other injuries..."

"It was an accident..."

Jensen took a step forward. Chris was looking at his notebook and wasn't really registering Jared's wide eyes or the way he had started panting, as he kept questioning, "Falling doesn't explain the broken fingers or the burns or –"

Chris stopped when Jensen lunged towards the bed. Jared was gasping for air, clutching at his throat and chest. He was struggling to move, his cast arm pressing awkwardly into the bed as he tried to lift himself up. When Jensen got to the bed, Jared grabbed onto him, fisting his hand in Jensen's shirt and dragging him in, wheezing out, "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!"

Jensen pushed him back onto the bed, saying as calmly as he could, "You're okay, it's a panic attack. You're okay, Jay. Just breathe." while at the same time frantically, pressing the call button for the nurse.

Chris took a step forward. "Jesus Christ, are you...?" But was met with an icy glare from Jensen.

"Get out, Chris." Chris shook his head as if to apologize but Jensen just yelled, "Out!" as two nurses burst in through the door.


~•~


In the end they had to sedate Jared. Jensen realized too late that it was a mistake to call the nurse. Having three people manhandling him made Jared panic even more, and that maybe Jensen would have stood a better chance of calming him down by himself. Jared was screaming and tearing at Jensen’s shirt, begging him “...don't let them do it!” , while the nurses tried to hold him down to inject him.

It still took what seemed like forever for the sedation to take effect, and for Jensen to pry Jared's fingers from his torn shirt. He slumped back into the chair while the nurses fussed around Jared, repositioning his broken leg, assessing the framework carefully, checking his cast and stitches in his head. Jensen just sat there, with his head in his hands, trying to take in what had happened, why Jared had reacted the way he did. Not necessarily to the questions, that was understandable but the way he had been so freaked out by Chris's presence...something felt horribly wrong.

Jensen didn't notice the texts on his phone until later when he pulled his cell out of his pocket to find change for the snack machine. There were three.

I'm sorry. I screwed up. Meet me outside.

It's been 30mins. I have to go. Call me later. Hope the kid is OK.

Jen. Call me asap.


Jensen really didn't feel in the mood to talk to Chris so he sent a message back.

He's not OK. Me neither. Speak tomorrow.

He knew Chris would be able to recognize the implicit “if I see you, I'm going to knock your fucking head off” subtext and wouldn't be back anytime soon.


~•~


It was a good five hours before Jared woke up again. Jensen's eyes were drooping and he was aware that his chin was pressing into his chest, he just didn't care. His shoulders were starting to ache from the struggle with Jared earlier and he was welcoming the reprieve of sleep, when he heard Jared stir.

He lifted his head and sawJared sleepily opening and closing his eyes. Jensen sat up, not fully awake and rubbed his eyelids with his fingertips. He sat forward and put his hands on the bed. "You okay?"

Jared's tongue snaked out and licked his lower lip and he grimaced. Jensen got a cup of water from the table and held the straw so Jared could take a sip. He gulped a couple of mouthfuls and then released it, leaving a thread of saliva between the straw and his mouth. Jensen watched it until it broke when Jared whispered, "'M sorry."

Jensen squeezed his shoulder and offered gently, "You've got nothing to apologize for," before going out to the nurses station to let them know he was awake.

Jensen left them to it, lingering for a while in the canteen, picking at a plate of gelatinous mac and cheese until he thought they were probably done. When he got back to the room, he expected Jared to be asleep but he was sat up in bed, picking at a food tray. When he saw Jensen he let out a sigh, and smiled. "I thought you left."

Jensen shook his head. "Didn't want to go without knowing you were okay."

Jared nodded, then held up a small paper cup. "Jell-O! Seriously, I thought people were kidding when they talked about hospitals giving you Jell-o."

"I would be very happy to take that off your hands, if you don't want it."

Jared laughed. "Really? You didn't strike me as a Jell-O kind of guy." Jensen smiled and shrugged. Jared put the paper cup down and pushed the tray slowly away saying, "I am sorry about earlier. I do want to help, I do but –"

"Jay, it's fine." Jensen interrupted. "It was too soon. We should have waited."

But Jared was shaking his head. "No, it's not that…"

Jensen watched Jared screwing himself up from the inside out. He grabbed the chair and dragged it noisily right up to the side of Jared's bed. "I have an idea. "


~•~


The following afternoon, Jensen was sitting at Chris's desk when he sauntered back into the precinct. He was wearing a shirt and loose tie and was carrying a jacket, so Jensen had a good idea why he hadn't been able to get hold of him. Chris's step broke when he saw Jensen in his seat but he kept moving forward.

Jensen sat up as he approached. "Your cell is turned off."

"I had court this morning." Chris walked behind his chair and hung the jacket on the back of the chair even though Jensen was sitting in it.

Jensen stood and turned to him. "I can see that. Nice tie."

Chris put his hands on his hips and sighed. "Look, if you're here to chew me out about yesterday..."

Jensen shook his head and said quietly, "I have a lead."

Chris raised his eyebrows. "Okay then!" He started to sit in his chair but Jensen hooked the jacket from the back and held it out to him, saying, "Not here."

They walked three blocks down to a small park, Chris following Jensen wordlessly until they sat on a small bench, set away from the main hubbub of the square. The sun was warm and there were plenty of people making the most of it, sitting on the grass eating sandwiches or reading a paper.

Chris twisted to face Jensen and put his arm on the back of the bench. "So, he talked to you?"

Jensen grimaced. "Not exactly."

It had taken most of the evening. Jared would have kept going all night but Jensen could see that he was exhausted even after his enforced naptime. It was something he'd tried a couple of times before with traumatized witnesses with varying degrees of success.
Jensen had asked questions, Jared nodded or shook his head to indicate an answer, and when it became too much, he held his hand up so Jensen could change the subject for a while. It was like getting blood from a stone. A couple of times Jensen had tried to stop but Jared wanted to go on, so they did.

"But the lead?" Chris looked confused.

Jensen sighed. "For what I can tell, Jared was jumped outside his apartment. Three guys bundled him into the back of a black van and drove him around asking him questions. He didn't have any idea what they were talking about, which is when they started breaking fingers."

Chris nodded. "What were they asking?"

Jensen shook his head. "I don't know...yet. What I do know is that when they realized they were getting nothing out of him, they drove him to the bridge and threw him off."

Chris wiped the flat of his hand over his mouth. "Jesus. Okay, well, we'd pretty much figured out most of that...so why all the cloak and dagger?"

Jensen took a deep breath. "Jay only caught glimpses of the guys before they blindfolded him. He didn't recognize any of the men but they knew him, knew where he lived and worked. He caught some of the things they were saying to each other, didn't get any of the names but..." Jensen paused and scrubbed his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus Christ, Jen, just spit it out!"

"One of the guys...when he was hauling Jay over the parapet, the blindfold had come loose...he saw a badge on his belt, Chris. One of the guys was a cop."

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