alexisjane

5th Dec:

milly_gal - Proudest moment, and no bullshit hun, the honest to god proudest moment of your life, without you doing the whole "I'm not awesome" thing *hugs*

Goddammit, Milly! You know I hate that stuff : P

I think when I finally finished and posted my Big Bang I was more relieved than anything. It had been a really long slog to get it done and there was a certain amount of disbelief that I had actually done it. I was kinda nervous about it. The themes are tricky and although there's a happy ending, I did put them through the wringer : / I had no idea how anyone was going to react.

The proud moment though was when I got a pm from someone. They had experienced stuff in the fic and they thanked me. I'm still really amazed by that but they didn't hate what I wrote. They thought it kinda captured the experience and they were grateful that I wrote it that way.

What I do really impacts no-one. I don't really leave my place and my work doesn't really help anyone. I have friends but I'm on the periphery of their lives, I don't really partake. I talk to you guys and I have 30 second conversations with strangers and that's kinda it.

That message really made me feel like I'd done something right. I'm sure there are other people who were offended or didn't think that at all but for that moment, between me and that person, I feel like I'd done something right. For me and for them. It felt like I was able to maybe make a bridge between their experience and the rest of the world that they maybe thought wasn't there before...or something...I wish I could explain it better : )

Anyway, I'm proud of that. I hope I can keep doing it.
♥

Stiil a few more days left!