alexisjane

Chapter Twelve

Jensen woke up the following day to Jared trying to strangle him. Not in a hands around the throat way, more of a t-shirt wrenching way. The collar of the fabric was digging into his skin and Jensen did his best to pry Jared's fingers off the t-shirt without waking him. It didn't work. Jared's eyes fluttered open and he released Jensen immediately with a guttural, "Guh, sorry,sorry," as he rolled away.

Jensen rubbed at his neck, then propped himself up on one elbow. "You wanna talk about it?" Jared rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and shook his head. Jensen wiped the gunk from the inside corner of his eye and said sleepily, "Is it the nightmare? The bridge?"

"No. No I...I don't want to talk about it."

Jensen yawned. "Okay, well just...maybe I should stop falling asleep here."

Jared's head whipped around and he glared at him. "What? Why?"

Jensen shrugged. "I dunno. After yesterday I thought maybe..."

Jared raised his eyebrows. "What? You mean the gay thing?" Jensen looked away and nodded. Jared blurted out a laugh. "Oh God...seriously? Jensen, are you going to grope me in my sleep?" His tone was teasing but it still made Jensen blush and glare back at him.

"No! Of course not!"

Jared smiled and sighed. "Oh well, can't have everything I guess." He snickered and waited for Jensen to relax and smile before he went on. "Regardless, I sleep much better when you're here. I mean it."

Jensen smiled and nodded. He tried to conceal the relief he felt – the last couple of weeks, sleeping at Jared's side were the best nights’ rest he'd had in a long time – but he wasn't sure he pulled it off. "Okay. But if you're going to keep manhandling me, we're going to have to have a conversation about that dream at some point, okay?"

Jared nodded, then smiling, closed his eyes and snuggled back into the pillow. "You love me manhandling you. Don't think I don't know it."

In the shower, Jensen contemplated whether Jared was just kidding around or whether he'd noticed that Jared putting his hands on him, made Jensen hard every time.

He was toweling his hair, dressed only in his jeans, skin still too damp and tacky to put on his Henley, when he spotted Jared through the open door. Jensen may not have been sleeping in the office but he was using it's small shower room so Jared could have the main bathroom to himself and had moved some of his clothes in there.

The office door was slightly ajar and the door to the bedroom was wide open so he could see Jared had managed to sit up by himself. He was looking down at his cell, frowning. Jensen dropped the towel and picked up his shirt. He pushed open the door and walked across the hall, pulling the Henley over his head as he asked, "Everything okay?" Jared looked up and stared at him open mouthed. Jensen cocked his head. "Jay? Are you alright?"

Jared snapped his mouth shut and nodded. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and let out a long breath. "Actually, no. No, I tried to call Adrienne. Her cell is off."

Jensen shrugged and ran his hands back through his damp hair. "It's eight-thirty. Maybe she's still asleep, especially if she was working last night?"

Jared pursed his lips and shook his head. "I don't know...she never turns her cell off. She calls it her lifeline..."

"Hey!" Jensen squatted down in front of Jared and put his hands on the bed next to Jared's hip. "Listen. Don't go panicking. It could be a million things. She could be in a tunnel, or dropped it in the toilet, or just forgot to charge it and played four hours of Angry Birds by mistake. It could be anything. It's way too early to go thinking the worst, okay?"

Jared looked at him intently. After a moment, he cleared his throat and nodded. "You're right. I know you're right. I...uh...I'll try her again tomorrow."

Jensen smiled and patted Jared's good knee before he stood back up. "Good. It's a big day today, so let's just concentrate on one thing at a time, okay? So..." He glanced pointed at the plastic bottle on the floor. "You gonna piss so I can get that part of my day over with?"

Jared huffed out a breath. "Not with you standing there, no."

Jensen smirked. "Fine. I'll make myself a coffee and then I'll be back." He wasn't sure but he could have sworn he heard a groan after he closed the door behind him.

Chris had planned the day with military precision. He came to pick Jared up exactly two hours before the surgery was scheduled. They arrived, got Jared into a gown, took his vitals, and pretty much wheeled him straight into the operating room.

Three hours later, he was waking up to Jensen's grin, with a fresh plaster cast where the metal frame had been on his leg, and some light strapping to replace the cast on his arm had been. Jensen cracked jokes about him being a new man, while Jared snoozed off the anesthetic, until the nurses made him leave.

When they said their, "See you tomorrow"s, Jensen had to stop his hand from taking Jared's, just to reassure him, to feel his warmth and ground himself with skin on skin. His fingers reached out on reflex, before he snatched them back. Relief and regret dogged him in equal parts as he made his way back to the empty apartment. Maybe if he had noticed that Jared had made a similar aborted movement, he might have slept better alone in the bed that had never seemed too big before.

When Rachel arrived the following day, wheeling a much more comfortable Jared in through the door, she also brought a rather tired looking Karen, and a pair of crutches with her. Chris had picked them up the moment the doctor had given Jared the okay to be discharged, but had received a call and had to drop them on the doorstep, before peeling out of there with his siren going.

When Rachel took Jared off to get him showered and changed, Jensen handed Karen a coffee and sunk down on to the couch beside her. "You know you didn't have to come. You look like you're about to drop."

Karen shrugged. "I know. But I wanted to." She blew her coffee and took a sip before asking, "How is he doing?"

Jensen shrugged. "Rachel will know better than me."

"No. I don't mean...how is he doing, Jensen?"

Jensen smiled and nodded. "Okay, I guess. Remarkably, considering. He gets nightmares, jumps every time someone comes to the door. He needs to have the light on all the time, can't stand the dark..."

Karen nodded. "That makes sense, I guess, what with the tape."

Jensen looked at her questioningly. "Tape?"

Karen looked aghast. "Oh God, I thought you knew. I probably shouldn't..." Jensen raised his eyebrows at her, and she closed her eyes in resignation. "When they found him...they had used duck-tape to blindfold him."

Jensen thought he was going to throw up. He leant forward and had to put his coffee down on the table. He knew, he’d understood, intellectually at least, that Jared had been tortured but he was suddenly struck by the brutality of it, the utter and absolute horror of what Jared had been through. He put his head in his hands and tried to keep his breathing steady.

Karen put a firm hand on his forearm. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

Jensen steeled himself and said quietly, "No. No, I needed to know. I wanna help. I wanna...make things better for him. I can't do that if I don't know what I'm dealing with, what he's dealing with."

"If it helps, you're doing an amazing job." Jensen looked up at her and Karen smiled. "Really. Rachel says he's healing fast and she's putting that down to you."

Jensen smiled weakly. "I'm not really doing anything."

Karen grinned and sat back. "Don't underestimate the effect you have on him. You're all he talks about, according to Karen. She's already picked out her wedding outfit."

Jensen laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, I think he's messing with her."

Except Karen looked deadly serious. "No, really! She gets all gooey-eyed talking about how you read to him every night and fall asleep in each other's arms–"

Jensen's eyes went wide. "He said that?"

Karen laughed. "Oh yeah. And how you fetch and carry for him and never complain. And how sweet and funny you are–"

"Are you serious?"

Karen laughed again. "Are you surprised? The guy is totally gone for you. How do you not see that?"

"See what?"

Jensen and Karen looked up to see a slightly wobbly Jared standing just outside the room. He was grinning wide and his eyes were sparkling, Jensen didn't recognize him for a split second. He was grasping the two crutches hard; the effort of having to balance on one foot when the other was in a heavy cast was evident. He took a breath and held it, planted the two crutches a foot or so in front of him, and then swung his body forward to meet them. It looked awkward and uncomfortable but he was almost laughing.

Jensen did laugh and clapped his hands together. "Oh my God! Look at you!"

Jared grinned at him. "I know, right! Gonna be up and around in no time!" Rachel appeared behind him and ushered him back to the bedroom, muttering stuff about horrible patient, shouldn't be doing that and gonna hurt yourself while Jared threw grimaces and smiled back over his shoulder at Jensen.

When he was gone, Jensen turned back to Karen, he was suddenly aware of how wide he was smiling, not just from the ache in his cheeks but from the look she was giving him too.

She laughed and sipped her coffee. "Well, I guess that settles it. I definitely need to go shopping for a hat."

Masterpost / Chapter Thirteen >>>>>