[FIC] Gazes Into You - 20/27
Aug. 4th, 2015 04:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexisjane<<<<< Chapter Nineteen / Masterpost
It was quiet in the apartment. Jensen was sprawled on the couch while Jared tapped at his computer. The sound of Jared’s fingers on the keys was soothing, and Jensen had half a mind to close his eyes and just let himself drift into sleep. Things had been better between them since Adrienne's surprise visit two days before. They still weren't great but Jared seemed to have thawed a little, seemed to be more civil. Jensen felt able to ask if he wanted a coffee, or whether he needed a hand getting dressed, without fear of getting a mouthful of abuse in return. Jared still refused him ninety percent of the time but it seemed more on principal than out of hate. Jensen didn't hold out any hope that things would go back to the way they were, that Jared would just fall back into his arms or his bed, but he still thought that maybe he might forgive him. Eventually.
Jared stopped typing. The length of the pause roused Jensen from his reverie, so he wasn't completely fuzzy headed when Jared asked, "Do you fancy take out? I'm starving."
Jensen slowly folded his newspaper and placed it next to him, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. "Sure. What were you thinking?"
Jared shrugged and set to straightening out his leg. "Thai? Or the Mexican place is pretty good?"
Jensen nodded and started to make a move from his seat. "Either of those is fine with me. I'll get both menus and we can see what looks good." His cell started to ring and he couldn't help but frown when he saw it was Jeff calling.
Jared saw the look on his face and reached out for his crutches. "You get that, I'll grab the menus."
Jensen nodded and turned away as he pressed accept. "Jeff. Everything okay?"
"You play golf, right?"
Jensen laughed. "Well, I wasn't expecting that! Yeah. Yeah, I do. Not for a while but–"
"Excellent. Get your tight butt down to the club. I've got a line on our guys but I need you."
"You need me? To play golf?"
"Jesus. No. Just talk about it. One of the guys is nuts for that stuff, it could be our way in but this isn't exactly my area of expertise."
Jensen laughed again. Jeff's entire sports knowledge boiled down to him yelling drunken abuse at late night boxing twice a year as far as Jensen could remember. He wearily sighed out, "Okay. Sure," as Jared came up beside him, fixing him with a quizzical look. Jensen looked at his watch. "I guess I can be there in…twenty minutes? Can you stall them that long?"
"Perfect. See you then."
Jensen heard Jeff hang up as he pulled his ear away from the phone. They never did stand much on ceremony.
Jensen was surprised to see a look of disappointment on Jared's face. He looked down at the take out menus hanging limp in his hand. "Sorry. Jeff has a lead. I have to go..." He wasn't sure why he was apologizing or why Jared had to try to put a brave face on it.
"It's okay. I'm glad he's getting somewhere. You meeting him at the club?" Jensen nodded. Jared cleared his throat and started to make his way back to his seat at the computer. "Wear the dark blue suit. And that blue shirt with the..." He made a gesture and seemed to intimate sparkly. Jensen was embarrassed to find he knew exactly which one Jared was talking about. He just grunted his agreement and left to get ready without trying to make sense of it.
When Jensen walked back out of the bedroom, pulling his jacket onto his shoulders, Jared was sat back at the desk, just hanging up the phone. He gestured vaguely at it. "Chad's coming over."
Jensen smirked. "I feel like maybe I should get him a key." Chad had become a regular visitor since Jensen's confession to Jared. What with the long hours surveilling the bar and the other hours where Jensen couldn't bear to spend time under Jared's hateful glower, Chad had taken the role of companion and protector. Although he expected Chad to maybe talk any intruders to death rather than kick their asses.
Jared's face fell at Jensen's suggestion. "Oh God, please don't do that. It's a bad, bad idea, believe me."
Jensen smiled wide. "That sounds to me like the voice of experience. You're going to have to tell me all about that when I get back."
Jared smiled softly. He lifted his hand and pointed vaguely at Jensen. "Your collar." Jensen quirked his eyebrows and tried unsuccessfully to feel for the problem. Jared huffed out a laugh and beckoned him over. "Here. Let me."
Jensen walked over and leaned down without thinking about it. But when Jared reached up and tugged at the fabric, his fingers glancing off Jensen's skin, his breath ghosting over Jensen's cheek, he wished he had declined. They hadn't been this close for weeks and they certainly hadn't touched each other either. Suddenly all the sense memories came flooding back and Jensen felt a desperation to breathe Jared in, wanted to bury his face in Jared's neck and forget anything had ever gone wrong between them.
It was made worse when he caught Jared looking at his mouth as he pulled away. Jensen thought he imagined Jared's hands lingering a little too long on Jensen's collar but he couldn't be sure. He wanted to kiss him, throw caution to the wind and draw Jared into a deep, aching kiss. But instead he cleared his throat and asked, "So. Any advice for tonight?"
Jared seemed not to hear him for a moment then pulled his hands down to his lap and slumped back in the chair. He cleared his throat then said, breezily, "I don't know. I guess if the bouncers ask for your membership card when you try to get in, tell them Carl said you wouldn't need it. And..." He smiled cheekily up at Jensen, "Don't forget to tip the bar staff."
Jensen scowled at him. "Hey! Like I would."
There was silence as they smiled at each other; the atmosphere between them lighter than it had been for weeks. But it couldn't last.
Jensen sighed. "Well then. I guess I better..."
Jared nodded. "Yeah, I guess you should."
Jensen smiled and grabbed his car keys and wallet from the coffee table. As he walked towards the door he felt something frighteningly like hope swirling in the pit of his stomach. And when he chanced a look back over his shoulder, the fact that Jared was watching him leave with a soft smile on his lips, had him walking with a spring in his step even if he did manage to restrain the urge to whoop like an idiot as soon as the door closed behind him.
~•~
The salon bar was relatively empty when Jensen arrived. He resisted the urge to check who was working behind the bar, hoping that it wasn't the jerk he'd run into last time. That had been weeks ago but if bartenders prized themselves on anything, it was their memory and he'd rather not be spotted. He headed straight to the stairs.
Two burly security guys in tight black shirts flanked the entrance and although Jensen expected a little difficulty getting past them, they took one look at his confident gait and expensive suit and pulled aside the ostentatious red rope from across the stairway. He tipped them a nod like he belonged there and took the stairs two at a time, unbuttoning his jacket as he went.
It only took him a minute to get his bearings in the private club. The lighting was low, but the blue tinted spotlights on the mostly naked dancers, curling and gyrating around poles on slightly elevated platforms around the floor, seemed to provide enough light to see clearly. The outside walls of the room were lined with plush comfy booths, with only about a third occupied with midweek custom. The music was low enough to encourage conversation but loud enough to drown out anything you might overhear from your neighbors.
Jensen trailed his eyes around the room looking for Jeff, his gaze getting snagged for a moment on a guy in unfeasibly tight gold shorts spinning then somehow flipping upside down, the muscles in his back and shoulders rippling and bulging. He didn't quite mean to stare but the floppy dark hair and broad shoulders had him thinking back, thinking about Jared. When the guy made eye contact, the spell was broken and Jensen turned abruptly away.
He spotted Jeff at the same time Jeff shot a hand up to wave him over to the booth he was occupying with, to Jensen's amusement, what looked like Laurel and Hardy. Hardy's name was Devin. He shook Jensen's hand enthusiastically, expounding the many, many excellent qualities of Jeff and how lucky Jensen must be to have him as a friend. Jeff smirked and slapped Devin's shoulder, laughing raucously in a way that would suggest to anyone else that he was three sheets to the wind. Jensen knew better though and wondered how long Jeff had been pretending to be drunk.
Laurel's name was Ernie and although less enthusiastic in his greeting, Jensen couldn't blame him when he followed his eye-line to see what had him so enraptured. It turned out to be five foot nothing of blonde, wearing not much more than a hankie and two nipple covers. Jensen figured that she could be wearing a hazmat suit, and the way she was doing the splits and twerking on the ceiling would still be hellishly impressive. Ernie seemed nice enough and managed to hold a semblance of conversation without taking his eyes off the girl. It was only when Ernie was walking back to the table from taking a leak that Jensen realized that he was the Suit that had trailed Chris to his apartment building in the black van.
Jensen was still processing the information, when Jeff declared that Jensen should get another round as he had some catching up to do and dragged him across the table into a rough embrace. He wasn't prepared for Jeff's low, breathy, "Whatever you say, you're not in insurance." He only realized then that they hadn't thought to get their stories straight, so was very glad that they were dealing with Drunk and Distracted. He was even more glad when he asked Ernie, "So, what line are you in?" and received the reply, "I work in IT. For a medical insurance firm." Jensen nodded politely until Ernie added, "Colby Medical. We have offices just around the corner which is why we usually end up here most nights."
Jensen felt his heart skip in his chest. He glanced across the table, and caught Jeff smirking at him. He surreptitiously tipped his beer at Jensen, keeping up the pretense of listening to Devin's rambling story. The smug bastard knew full well that Jensen wouldn't be talking about golf tonight. Grilling two guys about his former place of employment, on the other hand was going to be trickier than it seemed.
~•~
When he rolled back into the apartment at 1am, he did almost literally roll. He hadn't actually drunk that much, but with no food in his stomach and very little practice drinking spirits over the last couple of years, his tolerance was clearly at an all time low. He had the sense to leave the car in town and get a cab home, thankfully but he still had to hold onto the handrail with both hands in the elevator, and it took him a minute of scraping around to get his key in the door. The last thing he was expecting was to see Jared scowling at him from the couch, arms folded across his chest.
Jensen pulled a face and recoiled involuntarily, making him sway more than he expected. Being confronted with Jared doing everything but holding a frying pan just seemed a bit much. It was worse when Jared bit out, "Do you realize what time it is?"
Jensen tried not to laugh but he kind of snorted anyway. He immediately covered his mouth to hide the accompanying smile but then dropped his hand and scowled back at Jared. "Hey! This is my place. You don't get to give me a curfew. You're definitely not my mom. Definitely not."
Jared unfolded his arms and started to reach for his crutches. "Well, how about, why in the hell is your phone turned off?"
Jensen scowled and clumsily fumbled his cell from his jacket pocket, having to shake his hand from the coat when his fist didn't quite want to quit the silk lining. The screen was black, and stayed black when Jensen pressed all the buttons. "Ah, I'm out of battery."
Jared hauled himself up onto his feet. "I thought something had happened to you, you jackass! I was calling and calling–"
Jensen raked his fingers through his hair. "Ah shit. I'm sorry, Jay. I didn't realize–"
"Just forget it, Jen. I just hope you're date was worth it. I'm going to bed."
Jensen watched helpless as Jared hobbled away, too drunk to be able to get his thoughts together, until Jared was almost at the bedroom door. "Wait! Wait...what do you mean date? Is that why you're being a pissy bitch? Coz I was out with Jeff?"
Jared swung around and glared at him. "I'm pissed because I didn't know where you were. I'm pissed because I rang your cell for nearly two hours without being able to get through. Because you're out looking for the guy who tortured me and then threw me off a bridge and I thought you might be dead! You fuck who you want, Jen. Just keep your damn phone on when you're doing it!"
Jensen stood there with his mouth hanging open, trying desperately to formulate a response that didn't make him sound like an asshole or use the words 'I don't want to fuck anyone but you'. His drunken brain failed him miserably though and Jared slammed the bedroom door closed behind him before Jensen could respond. Instead, he angrily stripped to his boxers, fell onto the pull out in the office, and drifted in and out of sleep, his mind whirring between all the things he should have said to Jared, and the fact they might have finally caught a break.
Chapter Twenty
It was quiet in the apartment. Jensen was sprawled on the couch while Jared tapped at his computer. The sound of Jared’s fingers on the keys was soothing, and Jensen had half a mind to close his eyes and just let himself drift into sleep. Things had been better between them since Adrienne's surprise visit two days before. They still weren't great but Jared seemed to have thawed a little, seemed to be more civil. Jensen felt able to ask if he wanted a coffee, or whether he needed a hand getting dressed, without fear of getting a mouthful of abuse in return. Jared still refused him ninety percent of the time but it seemed more on principal than out of hate. Jensen didn't hold out any hope that things would go back to the way they were, that Jared would just fall back into his arms or his bed, but he still thought that maybe he might forgive him. Eventually.
Jared stopped typing. The length of the pause roused Jensen from his reverie, so he wasn't completely fuzzy headed when Jared asked, "Do you fancy take out? I'm starving."
Jensen slowly folded his newspaper and placed it next to him, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. "Sure. What were you thinking?"
Jared shrugged and set to straightening out his leg. "Thai? Or the Mexican place is pretty good?"
Jensen nodded and started to make a move from his seat. "Either of those is fine with me. I'll get both menus and we can see what looks good." His cell started to ring and he couldn't help but frown when he saw it was Jeff calling.
Jared saw the look on his face and reached out for his crutches. "You get that, I'll grab the menus."
Jensen nodded and turned away as he pressed accept. "Jeff. Everything okay?"
"You play golf, right?"
Jensen laughed. "Well, I wasn't expecting that! Yeah. Yeah, I do. Not for a while but–"
"Excellent. Get your tight butt down to the club. I've got a line on our guys but I need you."
"You need me? To play golf?"
"Jesus. No. Just talk about it. One of the guys is nuts for that stuff, it could be our way in but this isn't exactly my area of expertise."
Jensen laughed again. Jeff's entire sports knowledge boiled down to him yelling drunken abuse at late night boxing twice a year as far as Jensen could remember. He wearily sighed out, "Okay. Sure," as Jared came up beside him, fixing him with a quizzical look. Jensen looked at his watch. "I guess I can be there in…twenty minutes? Can you stall them that long?"
"Perfect. See you then."
Jensen heard Jeff hang up as he pulled his ear away from the phone. They never did stand much on ceremony.
Jensen was surprised to see a look of disappointment on Jared's face. He looked down at the take out menus hanging limp in his hand. "Sorry. Jeff has a lead. I have to go..." He wasn't sure why he was apologizing or why Jared had to try to put a brave face on it.
"It's okay. I'm glad he's getting somewhere. You meeting him at the club?" Jensen nodded. Jared cleared his throat and started to make his way back to his seat at the computer. "Wear the dark blue suit. And that blue shirt with the..." He made a gesture and seemed to intimate sparkly. Jensen was embarrassed to find he knew exactly which one Jared was talking about. He just grunted his agreement and left to get ready without trying to make sense of it.
When Jensen walked back out of the bedroom, pulling his jacket onto his shoulders, Jared was sat back at the desk, just hanging up the phone. He gestured vaguely at it. "Chad's coming over."
Jensen smirked. "I feel like maybe I should get him a key." Chad had become a regular visitor since Jensen's confession to Jared. What with the long hours surveilling the bar and the other hours where Jensen couldn't bear to spend time under Jared's hateful glower, Chad had taken the role of companion and protector. Although he expected Chad to maybe talk any intruders to death rather than kick their asses.
Jared's face fell at Jensen's suggestion. "Oh God, please don't do that. It's a bad, bad idea, believe me."
Jensen smiled wide. "That sounds to me like the voice of experience. You're going to have to tell me all about that when I get back."
Jared smiled softly. He lifted his hand and pointed vaguely at Jensen. "Your collar." Jensen quirked his eyebrows and tried unsuccessfully to feel for the problem. Jared huffed out a laugh and beckoned him over. "Here. Let me."
Jensen walked over and leaned down without thinking about it. But when Jared reached up and tugged at the fabric, his fingers glancing off Jensen's skin, his breath ghosting over Jensen's cheek, he wished he had declined. They hadn't been this close for weeks and they certainly hadn't touched each other either. Suddenly all the sense memories came flooding back and Jensen felt a desperation to breathe Jared in, wanted to bury his face in Jared's neck and forget anything had ever gone wrong between them.
It was made worse when he caught Jared looking at his mouth as he pulled away. Jensen thought he imagined Jared's hands lingering a little too long on Jensen's collar but he couldn't be sure. He wanted to kiss him, throw caution to the wind and draw Jared into a deep, aching kiss. But instead he cleared his throat and asked, "So. Any advice for tonight?"
Jared seemed not to hear him for a moment then pulled his hands down to his lap and slumped back in the chair. He cleared his throat then said, breezily, "I don't know. I guess if the bouncers ask for your membership card when you try to get in, tell them Carl said you wouldn't need it. And..." He smiled cheekily up at Jensen, "Don't forget to tip the bar staff."
Jensen scowled at him. "Hey! Like I would."
There was silence as they smiled at each other; the atmosphere between them lighter than it had been for weeks. But it couldn't last.
Jensen sighed. "Well then. I guess I better..."
Jared nodded. "Yeah, I guess you should."
Jensen smiled and grabbed his car keys and wallet from the coffee table. As he walked towards the door he felt something frighteningly like hope swirling in the pit of his stomach. And when he chanced a look back over his shoulder, the fact that Jared was watching him leave with a soft smile on his lips, had him walking with a spring in his step even if he did manage to restrain the urge to whoop like an idiot as soon as the door closed behind him.
~•~
The salon bar was relatively empty when Jensen arrived. He resisted the urge to check who was working behind the bar, hoping that it wasn't the jerk he'd run into last time. That had been weeks ago but if bartenders prized themselves on anything, it was their memory and he'd rather not be spotted. He headed straight to the stairs.
Two burly security guys in tight black shirts flanked the entrance and although Jensen expected a little difficulty getting past them, they took one look at his confident gait and expensive suit and pulled aside the ostentatious red rope from across the stairway. He tipped them a nod like he belonged there and took the stairs two at a time, unbuttoning his jacket as he went.
It only took him a minute to get his bearings in the private club. The lighting was low, but the blue tinted spotlights on the mostly naked dancers, curling and gyrating around poles on slightly elevated platforms around the floor, seemed to provide enough light to see clearly. The outside walls of the room were lined with plush comfy booths, with only about a third occupied with midweek custom. The music was low enough to encourage conversation but loud enough to drown out anything you might overhear from your neighbors.
Jensen trailed his eyes around the room looking for Jeff, his gaze getting snagged for a moment on a guy in unfeasibly tight gold shorts spinning then somehow flipping upside down, the muscles in his back and shoulders rippling and bulging. He didn't quite mean to stare but the floppy dark hair and broad shoulders had him thinking back, thinking about Jared. When the guy made eye contact, the spell was broken and Jensen turned abruptly away.
He spotted Jeff at the same time Jeff shot a hand up to wave him over to the booth he was occupying with, to Jensen's amusement, what looked like Laurel and Hardy. Hardy's name was Devin. He shook Jensen's hand enthusiastically, expounding the many, many excellent qualities of Jeff and how lucky Jensen must be to have him as a friend. Jeff smirked and slapped Devin's shoulder, laughing raucously in a way that would suggest to anyone else that he was three sheets to the wind. Jensen knew better though and wondered how long Jeff had been pretending to be drunk.
Laurel's name was Ernie and although less enthusiastic in his greeting, Jensen couldn't blame him when he followed his eye-line to see what had him so enraptured. It turned out to be five foot nothing of blonde, wearing not much more than a hankie and two nipple covers. Jensen figured that she could be wearing a hazmat suit, and the way she was doing the splits and twerking on the ceiling would still be hellishly impressive. Ernie seemed nice enough and managed to hold a semblance of conversation without taking his eyes off the girl. It was only when Ernie was walking back to the table from taking a leak that Jensen realized that he was the Suit that had trailed Chris to his apartment building in the black van.
Jensen was still processing the information, when Jeff declared that Jensen should get another round as he had some catching up to do and dragged him across the table into a rough embrace. He wasn't prepared for Jeff's low, breathy, "Whatever you say, you're not in insurance." He only realized then that they hadn't thought to get their stories straight, so was very glad that they were dealing with Drunk and Distracted. He was even more glad when he asked Ernie, "So, what line are you in?" and received the reply, "I work in IT. For a medical insurance firm." Jensen nodded politely until Ernie added, "Colby Medical. We have offices just around the corner which is why we usually end up here most nights."
Jensen felt his heart skip in his chest. He glanced across the table, and caught Jeff smirking at him. He surreptitiously tipped his beer at Jensen, keeping up the pretense of listening to Devin's rambling story. The smug bastard knew full well that Jensen wouldn't be talking about golf tonight. Grilling two guys about his former place of employment, on the other hand was going to be trickier than it seemed.
~•~
When he rolled back into the apartment at 1am, he did almost literally roll. He hadn't actually drunk that much, but with no food in his stomach and very little practice drinking spirits over the last couple of years, his tolerance was clearly at an all time low. He had the sense to leave the car in town and get a cab home, thankfully but he still had to hold onto the handrail with both hands in the elevator, and it took him a minute of scraping around to get his key in the door. The last thing he was expecting was to see Jared scowling at him from the couch, arms folded across his chest.
Jensen pulled a face and recoiled involuntarily, making him sway more than he expected. Being confronted with Jared doing everything but holding a frying pan just seemed a bit much. It was worse when Jared bit out, "Do you realize what time it is?"
Jensen tried not to laugh but he kind of snorted anyway. He immediately covered his mouth to hide the accompanying smile but then dropped his hand and scowled back at Jared. "Hey! This is my place. You don't get to give me a curfew. You're definitely not my mom. Definitely not."
Jared unfolded his arms and started to reach for his crutches. "Well, how about, why in the hell is your phone turned off?"
Jensen scowled and clumsily fumbled his cell from his jacket pocket, having to shake his hand from the coat when his fist didn't quite want to quit the silk lining. The screen was black, and stayed black when Jensen pressed all the buttons. "Ah, I'm out of battery."
Jared hauled himself up onto his feet. "I thought something had happened to you, you jackass! I was calling and calling–"
Jensen raked his fingers through his hair. "Ah shit. I'm sorry, Jay. I didn't realize–"
"Just forget it, Jen. I just hope you're date was worth it. I'm going to bed."
Jensen watched helpless as Jared hobbled away, too drunk to be able to get his thoughts together, until Jared was almost at the bedroom door. "Wait! Wait...what do you mean date? Is that why you're being a pissy bitch? Coz I was out with Jeff?"
Jared swung around and glared at him. "I'm pissed because I didn't know where you were. I'm pissed because I rang your cell for nearly two hours without being able to get through. Because you're out looking for the guy who tortured me and then threw me off a bridge and I thought you might be dead! You fuck who you want, Jen. Just keep your damn phone on when you're doing it!"
Jensen stood there with his mouth hanging open, trying desperately to formulate a response that didn't make him sound like an asshole or use the words 'I don't want to fuck anyone but you'. His drunken brain failed him miserably though and Jared slammed the bedroom door closed behind him before Jensen could respond. Instead, he angrily stripped to his boxers, fell onto the pull out in the office, and drifted in and out of sleep, his mind whirring between all the things he should have said to Jared, and the fact they might have finally caught a break.
