alexisjane

I tried to find some pics of the other teams...maybe they could have a Peen Off, with prizes for most tidy frontage : ) x

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har, I did it. It's in comments. phew!!!

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firesign10.livejournal.com

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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IKR! x

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my eyes!

what the hell .... TEAM PACKAGE!

LOLZ!!!!

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You'd think they'd have a better storage system, really : / x

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this is why when I write Doctor Who porn, I take advantage of the fact that the Doctor is an alien, and he keeps his junk tucked away inside his body till he needs it. Works for me! :)

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Oooo, good call

So...two hearts...does that mean...? *raises eyebrows* x

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I've never made much of the two hearts bit... but I ship him with Jack and Rose (Nine is my primary Doctor), and he does have that superior Time Lord Physiology. So having sex with him is a new experience even for someone like Jack. it's all Time Lord Brain powers, go all night, super electricity, plus the bond he leaves at a molecular level. :)

It's all on AO3 :D

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meus_venator

Oh… poor boys, they can't hide anything LOL

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The guy in the middle looks like he has two...*tilts head*...huh...x

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ephermeralk.livejournal.com

I'd totally do the 2nd guy on the right.

How much time do you suppose they spent arranging their packages into the position they thought looked the best in front of the mirror?

*snickers*

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Really? Helmet on or off? ; )

I just have visions of Jensen being this badass, competitive, slaying the competition, type cyclist who is just mortified whenever he gets of his bike and has to walk around with his junk on show! It would just be so funny. And Jared is the sports photographer who always manages to get pics of him trying to scuttle away : ) x

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"Ackles! Jensen Ackles!"

Shit, that freaking photographer again. Pada, Pada-- Jared something. He never shows up when Jensen gets to choose his own clothes. No. Only when he is riding with Team Package. If he ever gets his hands on that Danneel from Marketing at Speedy!Package, he would just like to see her parade around in one of the outfits she'd chosen. Hm. Actually...

Jensen turns his back to the photographer, who is looming over the small crowd of other reporters who'd turned up for the event. It's still a pro race, Jensen hopes they'll win and he'll at least get paid for the mortification, but he also secretly likes riding for Speedy!Package, because they always match the prize money with donations to charity, so Jensen puts up with the humiliation and thinks of his nephew or other kids who might be helped if his team wins.

"Ackles! Is Team Package planning to win today?" Jared's dumb voice shouts out. Dumb, sexy, smooth, chocolatey voice, with that familiar Texas twang...

"Yes, of course we are," Jensen responds despite himself.

"Is Speedy!Package supporting a charity as usual?"

Jensen figures he ought to turn around and give a little spiel. It's the least he can do to put in a good word for the charity. A thousand flash bulbs go off as he says a few words about riding for the kids and how he's happy to do his part.

The big photographer is grinning like an idiot, brandishing his camera in victory. And then Jensen remembers the uniform. Oh, for the love of Jesus H. Christ... on a bicycle.

Burning red in the face, Jensen turns back to the bike and makes some imaginary adjustments.

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The race goes well, just as Jensen predicted. He trains all the time, and so do his team mates. It's a good job, and he owes it to everyone to do his best.

Then the god damned photographer shows up, and this time, he's waiting after the awards between Jensen and his bike. There's nothing Jensen can do. He walks, uncomfortably aware of his bow-legged amble, up to the bike.

Jared is even bigger up close. He's got a good four inches on Jensen, who is not a small guy by any means. And he's ripped. He must be an athlete in his own right.

"Look, I'm sorry," Pad-ographer says, still grinning but at least attempting to control it. His hazel eyes twinkle with mischief. "I didn't mean to make you feel ... weird."

"What, the last three times I've ridden for Speedy!Package?" Jensen accuses.

"Well, you can't really blame me... I mean, dude. Look at you."

Jensen crosses his arms in a way that helps absolutely nothing. His mouth is in a cross little pinch.

"Look, I'd still be interested in you even if your package wasn't front and center," Jared says, and then turns bright red.

Jensen literally sputters with indignation. "Interested??" he yelps.

Jared stands up very straight. "Yes. Look. If you're not... interested back... I guess I'll try to leave you alone. But I mean, I do photograph sports. It's my job to have eyes. It's just, I like what I see."

"Are you asking me out?" Jensen asks, confused.

"Yes!" Jared shouts, flailing his arms a little. "Morton's! Tonight! 8 pm!"

"Okay!" Jensen shouts back.

"Awesome!" Jared shouts, laughing.

"Just, I gotta get outta this suit, man, it's freaking killing me," Jensen complains. "A shower, some human being clothes, and we'll see. Now go away and leave me in peace and humiliation."

"Yeah! Okay!" Jared says, shooting Jensen with his finger.

"Mmm, sweaty biker balls," Jensen hears Jared mumble as the big guy turns away.

Oh, dear Lord. What is he getting himself into?

Jared seems nice, if a little forward -- and he is easy on the eyes.

Six months later:

"So we owe it all to your girlfriend," Sam is telling Gen from Speedy!Package HR.

"I just chose the uniforms out of a catalog!" Danneel is protesting. "I'm not in the habit of think about man parts!"

"No, that would be my job," Jared said, with a satisfied nod.

Jensen thought it wasn't a great explanation for such horrible uniforms, but even a together lady like Danneel isn't an expert in everything. Jensen plays for both teams but that doesn't mean everyone does. He forgives her.

Jared's hand is moving up his thigh under the table.

It's not so bad riding for Speedy!Package after all.

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EEEEEEEEE!!!! *dances wildly!*

That is so awesome!! I can't stop laughing! Team Package! Ahaha!

Thank you, Darlin'! : ) x

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You are so welcome!! So glad you liked it! Perpetrating crack is one of my favorite pastimes.

darn it, I called jared SAM in the story!! poo.

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I love random crack comment fics!! : ) Toratio wrote a fab one about pie ages ago - http://spn-bunker.livejournal.com/4628.html?thread=59156#t59156 - I love it when they just appear like that...Oh god, ephermeralk wrote one about gummy worms too...I should start collecting them so I don't lose them all : )

And don't worry about the Sam thing...you're not the only one that does that : ) - http://kingswinchester.tumblr.com/post/92550307908 - x

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reggie11.livejournal.com

Team package *snort* Cute!

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Heeee... considering that we have THAT picture of Jensen on the interwebz and all... even if it's jeans and not biker tights.

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Oh the blessed gif of Peen *sighs* I love that gif...x

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Don't we all... don't we all...

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ephermeralk.livejournal.com

haha. I dunno, that red helmet is pretty attractive. But the potential for clumsy sex is high, so I'd have to go with 'off'.

lol! I'm not entirely sure on what's going on with the middle guy's junk...but it doesn't look comfortable! =/

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God, could you imagine getting headbutted with that half way through. Definitely a mood killer.
Middle guy looks like he has two! It's very disturbing x

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Also??? just the design of the color red on their uniforms. it's like HEY WE ARE TEAM PACKAGE NOTICE OUR RED ZONE. LOOOOOOOOK .

LOLZ. my eyes.

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Hahahaha!! It's like they're wearing big dangly dicks!! Hahahaha!! That's so awesome! ♥ x

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Uhm... I know it's a completely inappropriate response to so many manparts on display for the oggling, but all I could really think about in the context was *eeewwww, hurts* cause, ya know, those saddles, I know they don't spend a lot of time actually sitting on them and all, but they're WEAPONS!

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Don't they get nasty butt abscesses and stuff from the saddles : / Maybe that's why they've all got their junk strapped up front...nasty x

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Tbh, I don'T even wanna know, sure all those pants are extra padded and shit, but still... ouch.

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dizzojay.livejournal.com

Oh bloody hell - I'm never going to be able to unsee that ... :P

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