I Stumble Forward - Masterpost - spn_J2 Big Bang 2014

Vidart by mangacat201



Cover Art by siennavie

Title - I Stumble Forward
Pairing - Jared/Jensen
Rating - NC-17
Word count - 61.5K

Summary - Jensen is trying to start a new life and not complicate it with a past he isn't ready to share with potential girlfriend, Genevieve. But when she introduces him to her troubled brother, Jared, things get complicated fast and the men end up with a secret of their own. But there's another secret, one which neither of them holds, one that will not just break their lives apart emotionally but could have bloody, fatal consequences. If Jensen can pick his way through the minefield of lies and half truths, he and Jared might finally have a chance at happiness – Sometimes you have to save someone else, before you can save yourself.

Warnings - This is tricky. There are some warnings that are spoilers, like negating-the-whole-point-of-the-story type spoilers so have a look at what I'm prepared to say and if you're still concerned, please feel free to pm me about specific squicks. This is basically a drama set in a modern, everyday setting with regular people doing regular things...except they're not...because that would be utterly boring but you know what I mean.

( Some Warnings - Please pm me if you have any concerns )

By making myself available to you to double check if you will be squicked or not by this story, I reject any and all future complaints about inadequate warnings - read at your own risk - I don't think I can be any clearer about this.

Masterpost - Chapters

One   Two   Three   Four   Five   Six   Seven   Eight   Nine   Ten

Eleven   Twelve   Thirteen   Fourteen   Fifteen   Sixteen   Seventeen   Eighteen   Nineteen

Twenty   Twenty-One   Twenty-Two   Twenty-Three   Twenty -Four   Twenty-Five   Epilogue


AO3 for PDF/MOBI etc 

Non-RPF Version

Playlist

( My Writing Music )

On Spotify - BigBang2014 by pickleplushie
On youtube

Thanks and Credit - I had so much help with this it's not even funny.

( All The Love )

Basically cookies for everybody ♥ If you spot any errors, they are mine. Please let me know in the comments.

A/N - When I was sixteen I read an article in Just Seventeen magazine and a plot bunny arrived the same day. Bless him. I didn't know what the hell to do with him so I kept him in my head and let him percolate. The idea of actually writing anything down seemed utterly ridiculous for a long time so I just stored the bunny and got on with things. I suffer with insomnia every now and again, and it became a habit that every few months, I wouldn't sleep so i would unwrap the bunny and we'd go over the last version of the movie in my head and then expand on it and change it etc etc...for twenty years.
When I realised that if I didn't write it down pretty soon, it would never happen, I did. And it was awful. I tried again and it didn't work. At all. I left it and left it and then one day I came to a magical kingdom fandom, where two hot guys having sex with each other fixes everything. I scrapped all the words I had previously written, took a deep breath, and started over...and voila! It's been a long time coming but it's done. Hopefully the next BB won't take quite as long : ) x


Disclaimer - The events in this fic are entirely fictional and any resemblance to real events or people is completely coincidental. Actors names have been used purely for casting purposes, and the behaviour and personalities of the characters bears no relation to the actor in that role. It's pretend.

Dear Summergen Writer

Dear spn_summergen writer,

*waves* Hello!  Thank you so much for writing me a lovely fic! I cannot for the life of me remember what the prompts were that I submitted. I think I made them vaguely vague but feel free to interpret them as you fancy.

I don't really have a laundry list of what I do or don't want. I guess I'm Bi-Bro although Dean is my Honey, and don't enjoy character bashing (no Becky though!! We don't mention Becky). If you have a look on my profile, I have a list of things I do and don't like there, and a list of some of my favourite fics and authors that might give you an idea of the sort of thing I like. I'm currently mildly obsessed with One Small Step and my "if you could one have one fic" would be A Life Most Ordinary : )

I guess really I like stories and I think the best ones happen if the writer is enjoying it and having fun...so do that! Write something that you like and I'm sure I will love it.

I don't know if that helps...: /

You can always quiz me through the mods if you want.

Good Luck!

AJ x

I Stumble Forward - Chapter One

Chapter One

“No.”

Jensen could barely get the word out. It felt thick and ragged like it might choke him. He tried again but it was still a whisper. “No.”

He could feel the bile rising in his stomach and swallowed hard trying to force it down and undo the stranglehold on his throat so he could speak. “No. I don’t believe you.” He wouldn’t believe it. He couldn’t.

Although looking at his mother, trembling fingers covering her mouth, her face drained of color, lashes clumped with tears around her pleading eyes, looking as small and fragile as he’d ever seen her. Maybe he did.

He could hear Jared slump down heavily into the wooden chair behind him, it’s feet scraping on the tiles. Jared’s voice raspy, small like his own, the echo of his sentiment only serving to drive home the point, when he said, “No. No, it can’t be true.”

Jensen could hear Jared’s breaths, so close to sobs and all he wanted to do was turn and fall to his knees and hold him and tell him it wasn’t true and nothing had changed and please God don’t leave him, please.

But he couldn’t take his eyes off Genevieve.

Standing there, her small body fired with rage, white knuckled fists, hot tears on her face, her eyes burning with fury. And hate. Oh god, she hates us.

She was shaking with it as she screamed, “You think I would make this shit up! You think I would forget the woman that ruined my FUCKING LIFE?”

Spittle and tears were flying from her lips and she punched the air with her finger at his mother as she walked towards him. She kept screaming, incandescent with rage and pain and all Jensen could think was that he wanted to turn and fall into Jared’s arms, kiss the tears from his face and bury himself there. To block it out. To pretend that none of this happened.

That this moment never happened. Not that they never happened, but that somehow it could have been different. But what was the point. From the moment Jensen had slipped his jacket on that first night, it was always going to end like this.

Four Months Earlier

“You really wearing that?”

Jensen huffed out a laugh as he shrugged the old leather jacket on to his shoulders. He knew damn well she didn’t mean the blue jeans or the faded black tee or the scuffed brown boots. It was the jacket. Always with the jacket.

“Yes. Yes I am. Is that a problem?” He smiled as he turned, adjusting the worn collar and tugging down on the frayed sleeve. He expected to make eye contact with his mother through the open door to the kitchen but she was still rifling through the drawer, her long, blonde hair falling forward obscuring her face.

“No, no problem. It’s…well, you could do with a new one is all. I could buy you one? For your birthday, maybe?”

Jensen shook his head.

“Mom…” The disapproving tone was enough. Samantha looked up and smiled, holding her palms out in surrender.

“Okay! Okay. Just a suggestion!” She put her fingers to her lips and scanned the kitchen surfaces for the fifth time. “I cannot figure out what I’ve done with the damn thing…”

“Did you try the table by the phone?”

“Ah! Good thinking!” She scooted past him in the hallway on the way to the lounge, not bothering to close the adjoining door behind her.

Jensen smiled at the sight of her robe flapping and bare feet slapping on the wooden floor and turned back to the mirror. He had to duck slightly in order to see enough of his head to fix his hair. It was typical. His first night out in weeks and for some reason he had woken up with the most ridiculous cowlick, which even after a day’s work, still stuck up like it was hailing a cab.

He knew why she hated the jacket, and it wasn't the way it looked like she had always claimed. It was what it said with the way it looked.

The faded water mark which was actually beer, spilt by some guy who had taken offense at some long forgotten remark and had left him with a fractured cheekbone. The cigarette burn on the sleeve that he'd made himself, falling unconscious, fruitlessly waiting for a taxi that would risk taking him home even though he couldn't stand unsupported.
Then there was the rip in the elbow that she had neatly repaired for him to be fair, after it turned out that the guy didn't only have an ugly girlfriend but a pretty big knife too. He didn't stay long enough to get cut but the sleeve of the jacket had caught on something as he was running. And the dark brown faded stain on the lining and the collar left by the blood that had poured from the gash on his chin when he had not been so quick on his feet.

But he'd deserved that one. Hell, he'd deserved them all, scars he could slip from his shoulders and the ones that he couldn't shed so easily.
Unconsciously, his hand lifted and rubbed a finger over the scar on his jawline.

It made sense. The history laid out like that, the reasons why she hated it and the reasons why he had such sentiment for it, one and the same. And it wasn't like he wore it out of pride. That part of his life was over.

He needed the reminder.

She didn't.

Ty thought he should give it up too. Kept telling him it was time, whatever the hell that meant. Like there would ever be a time that he could forgive himself or put everything behind him and simply move on. Everyone kept expecting him to do it, expecting it to just happen. Everyone but him.
Ty said he was punishing himself and that he couldn’t do it forever. His Mom had said pretty much the same thing. But what did they know?

Shaking off the fruitless, recurring thoughts, he tried roughly patting his sandy hair down one more time before giving up, and reaching for the car keys on the hallway table.

There was a triumphant cry from the lounge. He smiled and called out, “Did you find it?”

Samantha walked back in, brandishing a shiny, red fountain pen as thick as a cigar in her fingers. “Right where you said it would be. You sure you didn’t move it?”

Jensen laughed as he walked to her, saying, “Aren’t I supposed to be the paranoid one?” She only half smiled as he put an arm around her and said, “I’m off. Shouldn’t be too late back.”

“I’m working tomorrow so try and keep it down when you come in, okay?”

“Sure thing.” He kissed her head but as he went to pull away, she took hold of his lapel.

“Don’t have too much of a good of a time, okay?” Her voice was quiet and hesitant, her eyes on the jacket rather than his face.

Jensen took a breath and covered her small hand with his own, obliterating it.
“Mom…It’s just me and Ty. It’ll be fine.”

He kissed her hair again, breathing in the comforting smell of her shampoo, as she released her grip.

As he walked away he prayed that he wasn’t a liar. Not anymore.

Masterpost --- Chapter Two

I Stumble Forward - Chapter Two

Chapter Two

“Hey. I said it’s your shot!”

Ty slapped his large hand hard onto Jensen’s shoulder, snapping him out of his stupor. He hadn't realized that he had been standing there staring off into space.

Jensen told himself it was the heat in the bar. Being up on the raised area at the back away from the windows made it stuffy. The decorative but useless ceiling fans were doing nothing to offset the added heat from the low hanging lights over the pool tables, keeping the temperature slightly above comfortable. It was making him zone out. There was no money on the game but he needed to snap out of it. Jensen shook his head slightly, willing the languor away. “Sorry, man. I don’t know where my head’s at.”

Ty squeezed his shoulder and leant closer to say quietly, “You know we don’t have to be here if it’s too difficult.”

For a big man, his voice had such a gentle quality to it and Jensen couldn’t help but smile.


When Misha had first introduced Jensen to Ty, he had been totally intimidated.

Jensen was tall and had been taking his fitness seriously lately so he wasn’t exactly slight. He had gotten used to the way that people reacted to him since he bulked up. But even though Ty was a couple of inches shorter than him, Ty was so broad that when he first came over to shake Jensen’s hand, Jensen felt like he got a real glimpse into how other people saw him. The guy could snap him like a twig. It was a little scary. The serial-killer-blue eyes didn’t help any either.

But then he’d cracked that sweet smile and laughed low and soft at Jensen’s wide-eyed trepidation and that had been that.

A year on, it still amazed Jensen how much Ty laughed for a man who really shouldn’t have all that much to laugh about. In one of his darker moments Jensen had asked him how he did it, how he could be so sunny all the time, given all that had happened to him. Ty had just looked at him and said, "You don't think I've cried enough?" They didn't talk about it again.


Jensen took hold of the pool cue leaning up against the table and took a swig of the drink he was nursing. “Oh no! Don’t try to pull that one! You really think I’m going to throw the game just when I’m kicking your ass?”

Ty raised an eyebrow and when Jensen looked down at the scant balls on the table and his drastic change of fortune, he could see why. As Jensen bent to line up his shot, Ty reached over and took up his own drink. “So how does it feel? Being back here?”

The balls snicked together and as Jensen straightened, they made an even more satisfying sound as one tumbled into the pocket. Jensen shrugged and walked around the table, calculating his next shot. The bar wasn't busy and there was only one other pool table occupied which was by a couple who didn't seem all that interested in playing, so it felt pretty private, caught in their own bubble of illumination from the light above the baize.

Jensen shrugged again. “It feels fine. It’s a little different than I remember but it’s been three years, give or take, “ He leant down, took a shot, and smiled as the ball wobbled in the jaws of the pocket before submitting. “Being sober probably helps some too.”

Ty smirked and raised his bottle in salute. Five minutes later, watching the black ball run smoothly into the pocket and disappear, he wasn’t smiling.

Jensen was though. He chuckled and slapped Ty on the back. “Never mind, man, I just got lucky. The next one’s got your name on it, for sure.”

Ty clunked his cue on the table, laying it flush against the cushion, drained the last of his bottle. “Well, I’m going to console myself with a piss and a smoke, while you get the next round in. You going to be okay?”

Jensen nodded and smiled and muttered something unflattering as Ty walked away. He contemplated the dregs in his own bottle but opted to wait for a fresh one, took a deep breath and headed for the bar.


Even though it wasn’t Saturday night busy, the bar seemed to be pretty popular for a Tuesday, and the combination of the short bar and far too many people taking up stool space against it, meant the available places to order were three bodies deep. But by the time it was his turn to be served, he had almost forgotten why he was there in the first place.

What started as a bit of friendly banter with the petite brunette crushed next to him, if only to make the awkward proximity a little easier, had become something else. She was pretty and funny and had seen both versions of ‘The Dirty Dozen’ so there wasn't a whole lot not to like.

By the time he made it back to the pool table Ty had the balls re-racked and was melodramatically tapping his watch and holding it to his ear as Jensen approached. Jensen put the two bottles down on the closest table and dropped a packet of peanuts between them as Ty walked over, proffering a cue. “Did you pay them in pennies? I was about to call search and rescue!”

“Very funny. Nope. I…got talking.” He leant back and took the cue in one hand as he took a swig from the bottle in the other.

Ty raised his eyebrow again but not to mock. “Well, look at that! That’s a smile I’ve not seen in a while. Don’t tell me. The cute brunette that’s been checking out your ass for the last hour?”

The bottle paused on Jensen’s lips before he pulled it away, “Dude! Why didn’t you say something?”

Ty laughed, “Jen, have you seen the guy she’s with? His bicep is the size of my thigh! You’re on your own with that one!"

Jensen raised the bottle to his lips and took the opportunity to sneak a peek at the table. The brunette, Jesus! She has a name, Jensen, Genevieve was sat at a table with another girl and two guys. The one next to her was, admittedly, pretty huge.

She had said that she was with friends from work but it was possible that the little pause before she spoke could have meant something else. And he couldn't blame her. The guy was actually gorgeous, and when he laughed, throwing his head back, the sound of his voice carrying over the room to Jensen’s ears, it made something catch in Jensen’s chest.

The not-a-date pushed his chair back and stood up, still smiling at the joke, dimples visible even from that distance, casually touched Genevieve’s shoulder and headed for the bathroom. The touch didn’t bother him but Ty wasn't wrong about the biceps. Jensen pushed away the irrational urge to follow him.

Instead, he swallowed and shook his head. “She said he’s a friend. From work.”

“Uh-huh, sure he is.” Ty nodded and bent down to line up his break shot.

Jensen leant down slightly and in what passed for a whisper over the music and chatter filling the room said, “Dude. She’s a nurse. Don’t ruin this for me.”

Ty pushed forward on the cue, the satisfying snick of the white ball, scattering the triangle of balls and sinking two. “Well, thank God, ‘cause you’re going to need medical care once Gigantor gets his drunken hands on you.”

Jensen laughed but he knew Ty was only half joking.


Jensen and Ty had spent an evening when they first started hanging out that consisted almost entirely of Jensen reeling off the names and horrific circumstances of every girl he’d dated. Sound judgment was never his strong suit so there were quite a few times he’d ended up with a black eye or split lip, and worse. And when he wasn’t having to scramble out of windows to avoid husbands or hooking up with girls who were picking out bridal wear after two dates, nothing seemed to stick.

There was Alona in high school. They’d been serious, if any relationship at sixteen can be serious, but they had gone off to colleges on opposite sides of the country and decided to call it quits. And even if they hadn’t, Jensen felt by the end that she was with him out of habit more than anything else and it would have finished sooner or later.

Sarah. Sarah had felt like the real thing but she wanted something that he didn’t understand how to give. You’ve put up this barrier, Jen. I don’t know why or what it is but even when you’re here, you just feel distant. I need more. I need all of you. It was his own fault for getting involved with a Psych major in the first place.

And then there was Danneel. There was no mystery in that one. It had been perfect, she had been perfect. He had everything but the ring picked out for her when it had all gone wrong. Scratch that. When he had gone wrong. No amount of forgiveness from her would undo what he had done, the pain he had caused. It haunted him, Please stop, Jen. Please, for me. For us! I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself. Why won’t you talk to me! After that, he figured that maybe he should stop trying altogether.


Ty’s shot bounced wild and he cussed. As he watched Jensen step up, he tried to sound casual, “So…did you get her number?” He didn't quite pull it off.

Jensen smirked without looking at him, as he sank the ball. “Do you even need to ask? I sure as hell didn’t have to!”

“And you’re going to call her?”

Something in Ty’s tone made Jensen look up and then stand up. He'd known Ty long enough to know when something wasn’t right. Ty was a straight arrow, calm and kind and insightful but subtlety was really not his strong point. And the fact that his friend wasn’t coming right out and saying what he was thinking, made him feel twitchy. It wasn't like Ty. Not at all.

He grasped the cue tightly and leant on it. “Yeah. Yeah, I was. Why? Do you think I shouldn’t?”

Ty shrugged and walked up beside him. “No. You should do what you want. I just thought...”

“Just thought, what?” Jensen felt genuinely confused but Ty just smiled as he bumped him with his shoulder and said, “Nothing. Doesn’t matter. Now you wanna move? It’s my shot.”

Jensen half laughed and bumped him back. “No way. I sank the last one.”

“Yes you did. But that was my ball, Stupid, so move your ass! And thank you, by the way.”

Jensen frowned at the table and cursed himself, all his concerns now focused back on the game. Ty grinned as he bent and lined up his cue. “I’m liking this girl of yours a lot already.”

Chapter One --- Masterpost --- Chapter Three

I Stumble Forward - Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Jensen pressed his cell to his ear and paced outside the diner. He wondered for a moment whether he could get away with hanging up and claiming he'd gone into a tunnel but he figured Genevieve probably wouldn't think that was very funny. His stomach was rumbling and they were on a schedule. Sort of. He could see Ty inside, perusing the menu, chatting to the waitress, smirking at him through the glass and tapping his watch. But Genevieve kept talking and although the hungry part of him wanted to be inside, he really didn't want to hang up either.

“But you got the tickets okay?”

Jensen nodded to no-one. “Yes. Yeah and no pillars in the way this time so we might actually get to see something.”

Genevieve laughed. “That would be good. So, I’ll meet you there at seven-thirty?”

“I could always pick you up, if you want?” Even as he said the words, he knew what her answer would be.

They had been out a few times, but she still wouldn’t let him anywhere near her house. It was kind of a running joke. He had been relieved when she said that she wanted to take things slowly, get to know each other. He wasn’t convinced that he was ready for a relationship that went beyond friends, so friends with the promise of something more suited him fine. But it still amused the hell out of him that she had this unspoken set of strictures and rules to keep him at arms length. He wasn't even sure she realized she was doing it.

“No, that’s okay. It’ll be easier if I just meet you there." Jensen smiled. It was always the same. He opened his mouth to say something potentially witty but she asked, “So how are you going to amuse yourself until then?”

He stopped pacing and rubbed his knuckle over the scar on his chin. “Well, right now I’m watching Ty reading a menu at Blakes, so we’ll eat and then I’ve got some errands to run…” The words flowed out and he kept talking and she was funny and sweet but the whole time a great big pink neon sign flashed in his head. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR.

By the time he slid onto the shiny red leather of the booth opposite Ty, muttering his apologies, he wasn’t sure how much appetite he had left.

“So I’m assuming from the way you’ve kept me waiting that things are going fine and dandy with the new squeeze?” Ty folded his hands over the menu laid out on the table as he asked, smirking and clearly amused at Jensen’s discomfort.

Jensen barked out a laugh and shrugged his jacket off, “Fine and dandy? Really? Yeah, well I guess so.” He met Ty’s eyes for a second but had to look away, suddenly uncomfortable with the scrutiny.

Ty cocked his head and frowned at the way Jensen was fussing his shirt and wouldn’t make eye contact, before he huffed out a sigh and slumped back in his seat. “You haven’t told her.” He didn’t even bother to phrase it as a question.

Jensen glared at him and slid the menu out from under Ty's hands, held it up in front of him like a barrier and started reading. “Did you order yet? I’m starving.”

Ty shook his head. “I thought you were going to tell her? Jesus, Jen, this is not smart. What the hell does she think you do every afternoon?”

Jensen kept his eyes on the menu for as long as he could stand the feeling of Ty’s glare boring into the top of his head, before it started to burn and he relented. He lowered the menu, turned his hands palms up and shrugged. “Errands. I have lots of errands.”

Ty looked at him incredulously for about two seconds before blurting out a laugh. Jensen smiled and shook his head apologetically. “I know we talked about this but really…I’ve known her all of five minutes. We’ve been out, what…five? Six times? I don’t want to dump all that crap on her, y'know? It’s not like we’re serious or anything.”

Ty nodded and slowly leant forward onto the table as Jensen spoke, laying his forearms flat against the laminate surface, fingers laced together like he really meant business. When he finally said something, he wasn’t smiling. “And not being serious? That's all her idea, is it?”

Jensen didn’t so much as meet Ty’s gaze as plain stare at him. He opened his mouth to speak but the waitress appeared at his elbow and his mouth slammed shut again until he gave her his order.


It wasn’t that Ty was wrong. It was that he was right. Too right. Jensen knew it. He was so determined not to be that guy anymore; the one that held back, the one that couldn’t be the whole of himself with another human being, the one only giving half-truths and keeping everything else hidden like a secret.

Nothing good ever came of it and if he didn’t want to end up back in the emotional gutter, he couldn’t be that person anymore. He’d thought he’d kicked that habit, but evidently not. Seems he’d simply managed to find other ways to keep his distance.

It was a great loophole come to think of it. If they weren’t serious, there was no need to go telling her all his dirty secrets, and if he didn’t tell her all his dirty secrets then how could they be serious.

He’d never been in therapy but he imagined that talking to Ty had much the same effect. He would say something, Ty would reply and Jensen would free-fall into a chasm of self-doubt and denial before realizing that actually his mind was doing its best to protect him from himself. It seemed to prefer to do it in the ‘curiouser and curiouser, Alice down the rabbit hole’ type way, that he was normally completely unaware of.


When the waitress finished talking about specials and sides, she took the menu back with a flourish and a smile as she walked away, mostly at Jensen even though he was clearly in a less-than-receptive mood. The two men sat quietly for a moment letting the background music, sounds of cutlery scraping, glasses clinking, and general conversation fill the space between them.

After what was probably thirty seconds but felt like an hour, Jensen cleared his throat and leant forward, mumbling, “Gen thinks we should double date.”

Ty didn’t even blink. “Double whatnow?!” The horrified look on Jensen’s face was obviously what he had been aiming for as he grinned wide before saying, “Well, I’ll give anything a try but we might have to keep the lights off.”

Jensen laughed and threw up his hands. “Dude! That’s just gross!”

Ty raised an eyebrow. “Thanks a lot. Way to make a guy feel special.” He watched Jensen slump back in his seat and smirked, before going on, “Double date, huh. Is that even a thing any more?”

“I don’t even know man. Her words not mine. I think she wants to get to know you, being that I talk about you a lot, and she figured it would make sense for Traci to come along too.”

Ty nodded and said, “Sure. How about we go to that new Mexican place down the street from us? Traci’s been dying to try it.”

Jensen pressed his lips together and shuffled in his seat, then ventured, “I was thinking further afield? Not so close to home?…Y’know. Somewhere we could drive to?” He knew he looked even more pathetic than he sounded but not half as pathetic as he felt.

Ty raised his eyebrows. Jensen flinched but Ty nodded and said, “So we could drive there...in separate cars I’m assuming?” He was smiling but his eyes looked a little sad.

“I would never ask you to lie for me, Ty.”

“No? Maybe not. But you’re lying to yourself if you think this is going to end anyway but badly, my friend.”

“I just need some more time. I can’t…I like her, y’know? She’s a friend, and I like the way she doesn’t look at me like I’m…I don’t wanna screw it up and I’ll come clean, I will. I just…” Jensen couldn’t finish the sentence; he tried but the words wouldn’t come, his eyes pleaded with Ty’s for forgiveness and understanding and patience.

And Ty got it. He smiled and sighed, reaching out and patting his giant paw on Jensen’s wrist, the action managing to release the build up of tension in Jensen’s shoulders.

The waitress arrived with the food, and an extra glint in her smile and bounce in her hips for Jensen. Ty chuckled and Jensen ignored the pair of them and set to devouring his lunch. They ate mostly in silence, with what little conversation they could muster, consisting of scintillating small talk along the lines of, “Did you see the game last night?”, “How did that thing go at work?” and a variety of other grunts and mumbles.

By the time Jensen had crammed the last piece of burger in his mouth, Ty was pushing away his scraped clean chilli bowl and signalling for the cheque. As they slid out of the booth and headed for the door, Ty asked, “Did you hear anything back about that job at Seb’s place?”

Jensen shook his head, as he pushed open the door with one hand and adjusted the collar of his jacket with the other. “No, well yes. I heard but it was a no. I think they hired a guy internally, but…” He looked at Ty and smiled. He had been dying to talk to Ty about this but wanted to wait for the right moment. Ty raised his eyebrows and made a ‘go on’ hand gesture as they started to walk down the street and Jensen continued sounding rather more upbeat, "Do you remember I mentioned I was going to give Matt a call?”

“Your college buddy from Austin?”

“Yup. Well, I finally managed to get hold of him and he’s got a position opening up in September that sounds more than perfect and he really thinks I’d have a shot.”

“September’s five months away.”

“I know, but this wouldn’t just be a programming gig. It’s more managerial, with more creative input, chance to really shape the direction they go in and the company, it’s small right now but it looks set to land a couple of really big contracts and if that happens, to get in on the ground floor…”

Ty held up his hands to the barrage of enthusiasm and laughed out, “Okay! Okay! I’m sold! It’s the opportunity of a lifetime!”

Jensen huffed out an embarrassed laugh and mumbled, “Well, I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but if I get it, I sure as hell won’t be looking around for anything else.”

Ty smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets as they both turned in unison, treading a familiar path, across the road and turning left down a side street. Ty said, “But…Austin?”

Jensen shrugged. “I know. It would be one hell of a commute.”

The two men smiled without looking at each other and came to a stop on the sidewalk at the low gates to a parking lot in front of a red brick building abutting a rather impressively steepled church. There were a couple of cars in the parking lot, but there were a lot more people, standing around in groups of two or three, talking quietly to each other, some smiling and cheerful, some looking grim and pale. They all looked like they were waiting for something.

Ty raised a hand in silent greeting to one of the men huddled around chatting by the building’s entrance and Jensen similarly smiled and nodded an acknowledgment. Ty pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and shook one out saying, “I know it makes sense…but I’d miss you, man.”

Jensen smirked, “It’s Austin, not Seattle. It's only five hours away. I’d be back from time to time.”

Ty lit the cigarette and blew out a long pall of smoke before nodding and asking, “And what does Gen say about it?”

Jensen kicked at nothing on the sidewalk and pursed his lips. “I’m going to talk to her about it tonight.”

Ty shook his head and took another drag, his words coming out smoky and amused, “Sure you are. Well, you’d better. September’s going to come around awfully quickly, my friend.“

Jensen threw him a stare that said, I know you’re right, Please stop talking and You sound like my mother all rolled into one. From behind them, someone threw open the door to the building and propped it wide.

Ty laughed, threw the half-smoked cigarette under his sole and crushed it as he clapped his hand on Jensen’s shoulder and shoved him through the gate, keeping it there until they reached the door of the building, merging with the small crowd of people as they made their way inside.

 

Chapter Two --- Masterpost --- Chapter Four