It's not what you think...
Nov. 14th, 2013 03:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexisjanePairing - Sam/Dean (sort of)
Rating - NC-17
Disclaimer - These are my words but all my base are belong to Kripke, Sera, Ben or whoever so don't sue me. It's just for fun.
Word count - 950ish
Warnings - Spoilers (keep up darlin's), it's Wincest, so...wincest (but not as we know it)!
Notes - I wrote a version of one of these for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amyww's birthday and the other two just popped in my head.
Inspired partly by a conversation with someone who shall remain nameless about how difficult RL dirty talk is and partly by my having to confess to my friend that part of the reason I won't go to the gym with her is because I make sex noises when I workout...don't ask.
So, three micro (crack?) fics that are hopefully amusing.
As always unbeta'd so lay those comments on me!
"Are you high?!"
"Dean, come on…"
"No! No way I'm doing that in here..."
"Come on, just open that filthy mouth of yours.."
"Jesus, Sammy.."
"Come on. Let me just slip it in.."
"Don't grab me like that. You trying to choke me to death! I'll do it. Just…stay right there."
Bobby had dealt with some sickening things since becoming a hunter but passing by the workshop doorway, he felt as close to upchucking as he had in a long while. He wanted to run, to rip his ears clean off his head, to scream and have the ground swallow him up all at the same time. But he couldn't help himself.
He had to know. Once and for all. He had always suspected. Those boys. His boys. The way they looked at each other sometimes. But he never wanted to believe it. Couldn't believe it, not until now. He had to know. Had to see with his own eyes.
"See that wasn't so hard."
"Urghhmmmurrm!"
"Just shut up and take it.. there…a little to the left. Oh yeah, that's it!"
Slowly, Bobby leaned around the door frame and peered through the gap, horror gripping his throat and cutting off the air. Then stopped.
"What, in hell, are you two doin' in there?"
Dean leapt his butt off the table like it was on fire, knocking a wrench clattering to the floor, folding his arms self-consciously across his chest, while Sam remained where he was, about three feet away from Dean holding a small white box in his hand.
Dean was stammering "No…er, nothing…not any, er…er, what?" He was trying to look casual but the way his face was contorting and he couldn't quite figure out what to do with his hands was coming across like he was having a seizure or something.
Which is when Bobby noticed the thin white thread hanging from his lips.
"Are you…are you flossing?" He could hardly believe what he was saying.
Dean started flailing around "No!..no…definitely…here!? No!...that would be just weird and…well…who does that?…douchebags! That's who!…no, I would never…"
"He got popcorn stuck in his teeth" Sam interjected, clearly bemused by Dean's futile denial.
"Sam!"
"Well, you did! It just dental floss, Dean! God, you're so weird sometimes."
"It's a private act, Sam! I don't see why I can't just do this back at the motel room!"
"Here we go…'
"Hey! You can take that bitch face and shove it!"
"You're such a prude.."
"Come here and I'll show you what a prude I am!"
Bobby had left even before the scuffle started, muttering about their damn fool antics and what an old damn fool he was.
----------------------
"Give it to me" Dean's voice sounded dry and slightly desperate, especially when compared to Sam's strong, controlled, "You wannit?"
There was a very slight pause as Dean's tongue snuck over his bottom lip. "Oh yeah…come on"
"Oh, you gotta ask nicer than that." She could almost hear Sam's grin and the glint in his eye.
Dean shifted. "Sam, come on…just…"
"Just what, Dean?"
"Sammy."
There was a squeak as Sam moved, bringing his face just a fraction closer to his brother and in a low breathy voice, murmured "I wanna hear you beg…beg me for it."
A low keen escaped from Dean's throat. "Sam please…Please!"
'How bad do you wannit, Dean?"
"So bad, Sammy…just the tip...please!"
That was enough.
Ellen span round to face the two men sitting at the bar, feeling slightly flushed and totally at the end of her tether. If she had to listen to five more seconds of this she was shooting them both. And maybe herself.
"Sam! For the love of all that is holy, give Dean the damn pie!"
The grin fell away from Sam's face and somehow materialised on Dean's as he slowly slid over the plate with the wedge-shaped slice of heaven on it, muttering "But that was the last slice." like a petulant child under his breath.
----------------------
"Oh god! Oh, uh! Wait...wait...Dean. Just...please...come on!"
"Sam! Jesus, Sam!...I just can't get it in!"
"Come on, you can do it...for me."
"It's just so tight. Oh god"
"It's not that big! Just put your shoulder into it."
"Fuck, just hold still just for a second, will you?!...Ugggh! Goddamit! It just won't fit!"
"It will, come on! Please, please...I need this."
"It's no good Sam, I'm trying! Maybe if you were up here it would be easier"
"Just push harder! Oh yeah! Just like that, Oh god! Yes, yes! I can feel it! Ahh!"
"Oookay. Oh yeah! That's it..Come on baby...just twist to the left a bit, Sammy. That's it! Oh yeah, just like that"
"Oh god, it's coming. It's coming!"
"Seriously!"
Sam and Dean, flushed, sweating and panting hard, turned to see Kevin sat at the wardroom table, angel tablet in one hand, spoonful of cereal in the other, milk dripping off it into the bowl below, staring up at them incredulously.
"Seriously. You don't hear yourselves?!"
The brothers looked at each other and shrugged.
Dean looked back at him, bemused and slightly pissed off, "Dude, this couch is really heavy! Either shut up or come and help!"
Kevin shook his head and turned back to the translation, trying to ignore the two men cursing and grunting while they struggled to get a huge pink sofa down the small metal staircase, not having the heart to ask them why they didn't just bring it in through the garage, while a distant gravelly voice, echoed through from the depths of the bunker.
"I'd be more than happy to help if you'd like!...At least let me watch!"
Rating - NC-17
Disclaimer - These are my words but all my base are belong to Kripke, Sera, Ben or whoever so don't sue me. It's just for fun.
Word count - 950ish
Warnings - Spoilers (keep up darlin's), it's Wincest, so...wincest (but not as we know it)!
Notes - I wrote a version of one of these for
amyww's birthday and the other two just popped in my head.Inspired partly by a conversation with someone who shall remain nameless about how difficult RL dirty talk is and partly by my having to confess to my friend that part of the reason I won't go to the gym with her is because I make sex noises when I workout...don't ask.
So, three micro (crack?) fics that are hopefully amusing.
As always unbeta'd so lay those comments on me!
"Are you high?!"
"Dean, come on…"
"No! No way I'm doing that in here..."
"Come on, just open that filthy mouth of yours.."
"Jesus, Sammy.."
"Come on. Let me just slip it in.."
"Don't grab me like that. You trying to choke me to death! I'll do it. Just…stay right there."
Bobby had dealt with some sickening things since becoming a hunter but passing by the workshop doorway, he felt as close to upchucking as he had in a long while. He wanted to run, to rip his ears clean off his head, to scream and have the ground swallow him up all at the same time. But he couldn't help himself.
He had to know. Once and for all. He had always suspected. Those boys. His boys. The way they looked at each other sometimes. But he never wanted to believe it. Couldn't believe it, not until now. He had to know. Had to see with his own eyes.
"See that wasn't so hard."
"Urghhmmmurrm!"
"Just shut up and take it.. there…a little to the left. Oh yeah, that's it!"
Slowly, Bobby leaned around the door frame and peered through the gap, horror gripping his throat and cutting off the air. Then stopped.
"What, in hell, are you two doin' in there?"
Dean leapt his butt off the table like it was on fire, knocking a wrench clattering to the floor, folding his arms self-consciously across his chest, while Sam remained where he was, about three feet away from Dean holding a small white box in his hand.
Dean was stammering "No…er, nothing…not any, er…er, what?" He was trying to look casual but the way his face was contorting and he couldn't quite figure out what to do with his hands was coming across like he was having a seizure or something.
Which is when Bobby noticed the thin white thread hanging from his lips.
"Are you…are you flossing?" He could hardly believe what he was saying.
Dean started flailing around "No!..no…definitely…here!? No!...that would be just weird and…well…who does that?…douchebags! That's who!…no, I would never…"
"He got popcorn stuck in his teeth" Sam interjected, clearly bemused by Dean's futile denial.
"Sam!"
"Well, you did! It just dental floss, Dean! God, you're so weird sometimes."
"It's a private act, Sam! I don't see why I can't just do this back at the motel room!"
"Here we go…'
"Hey! You can take that bitch face and shove it!"
"You're such a prude.."
"Come here and I'll show you what a prude I am!"
Bobby had left even before the scuffle started, muttering about their damn fool antics and what an old damn fool he was.
----------------------
"Give it to me" Dean's voice sounded dry and slightly desperate, especially when compared to Sam's strong, controlled, "You wannit?"
There was a very slight pause as Dean's tongue snuck over his bottom lip. "Oh yeah…come on"
"Oh, you gotta ask nicer than that." She could almost hear Sam's grin and the glint in his eye.
Dean shifted. "Sam, come on…just…"
"Just what, Dean?"
"Sammy."
There was a squeak as Sam moved, bringing his face just a fraction closer to his brother and in a low breathy voice, murmured "I wanna hear you beg…beg me for it."
A low keen escaped from Dean's throat. "Sam please…Please!"
'How bad do you wannit, Dean?"
"So bad, Sammy…just the tip...please!"
That was enough.
Ellen span round to face the two men sitting at the bar, feeling slightly flushed and totally at the end of her tether. If she had to listen to five more seconds of this she was shooting them both. And maybe herself.
"Sam! For the love of all that is holy, give Dean the damn pie!"
The grin fell away from Sam's face and somehow materialised on Dean's as he slowly slid over the plate with the wedge-shaped slice of heaven on it, muttering "But that was the last slice." like a petulant child under his breath.
----------------------
"Oh god! Oh, uh! Wait...wait...Dean. Just...please...come on!"
"Sam! Jesus, Sam!...I just can't get it in!"
"Come on, you can do it...for me."
"It's just so tight. Oh god"
"It's not that big! Just put your shoulder into it."
"Fuck, just hold still just for a second, will you?!...Ugggh! Goddamit! It just won't fit!"
"It will, come on! Please, please...I need this."
"It's no good Sam, I'm trying! Maybe if you were up here it would be easier"
"Just push harder! Oh yeah! Just like that, Oh god! Yes, yes! I can feel it! Ahh!"
"Oookay. Oh yeah! That's it..Come on baby...just twist to the left a bit, Sammy. That's it! Oh yeah, just like that"
"Oh god, it's coming. It's coming!"
"Seriously!"
Sam and Dean, flushed, sweating and panting hard, turned to see Kevin sat at the wardroom table, angel tablet in one hand, spoonful of cereal in the other, milk dripping off it into the bowl below, staring up at them incredulously.
"Seriously. You don't hear yourselves?!"
The brothers looked at each other and shrugged.
Dean looked back at him, bemused and slightly pissed off, "Dude, this couch is really heavy! Either shut up or come and help!"
Kevin shook his head and turned back to the translation, trying to ignore the two men cursing and grunting while they struggled to get a huge pink sofa down the small metal staircase, not having the heart to ask them why they didn't just bring it in through the garage, while a distant gravelly voice, echoed through from the depths of the bunker.
"I'd be more than happy to help if you'd like!...At least let me watch!"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 04:10 pm (UTC)One small suggestion, if you don't mind. It's much easier to read if you put a space between each paragraph. I know it sometimes looks like too much whitespace if there's a return between each line in a dialogue sequence, but it is a lot easier for the reader than too much text too close together.
I always enjoy the content of your stories. They're well-written and entertaining, but my brain isn't always up for parsing the formatting. <3
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 04:29 pm (UTC)Thank you for the lovely words, it makes such a difference *hugs you* x
no subject
Date: 2013-11-15 06:24 am (UTC)That is definitely better, though you could still put spaces between every sentence of dialogue when it changes speaker. In short snippits like this, what you've currently done works, but in a longer story it could get tiring on the eyes.
I feel like such an old lady. "That's hard on my eyes. That music is too loud. Youngsters today don't know how good they've got it." XD
no subject
Date: 2013-11-15 09:58 am (UTC)I think it might be that though. I think it's just my elderly brain that can't read off the screen wherein it's actually just hard to read. I'm too used to writing for print and forget on-screen it has to be different.
Plus I always post in such a fluster.
I will endeavour to do better but feel free to yell at me or rattle your zimmer frame or whatever.
Thank you so much for all your lovely words too. It's so nice to get such great feedback : ) *hugs* x
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 05:29 pm (UTC)One of my favourite things about the show is how good all the cast are at the funny stuff, especially Osric! God, Kevin cracks me up!
I do have a sneaking suspicion that the boys might be doing this on purpose ; ) x
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 09:35 pm (UTC)That ending was perfect! I can so imaging Crowley shouting that!
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 09:54 pm (UTC)God, I kept deleting and rewriting that line so many times, I'm glad it's okay.
I was hoping to do more but my funny bunny scarpered rather sharpish when another slightly darker one arrived this afternoon. Hopefully she'll be back as everyone's been so nice about these : ) x
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 10:47 pm (UTC)<<<<<,333333333333333
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 11:01 pm (UTC)Oh can't wait for Dean to forget and do that in the show! He'll totally pull that face too : ) x
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 10:52 pm (UTC)New you'd make some twist to it! Maybe they're doing this on purpose? So when they're actually doing it no-one lifts an eyebrow?
<3
no subject
Date: 2013-11-14 11:27 pm (UTC)I was trying to come up with one where they were actually fucking but being really polite about it but my plot bunny quit on me. Yeah, I think on purpose but just coz it's funny : ) x
no subject
Date: 2013-11-15 05:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-15 09:45 am (UTC)I do love it when they get all flustered and Sam's sensitive side just goes out the window when it comes to Dean's little quirks. I wasn't sure the floss thing would work so I'm relieved it's not just me that found it funny!
*hugs* x
no subject
Date: 2013-11-15 02:30 pm (UTC)I'm here sick with a combination of the flu, high blood pressure and asthma and you make me manage to laugh through all that xDD It was awesome! Thanks so much for sharing :))
no subject
Date: 2013-11-15 04:15 pm (UTC)Porn and laughing not really a good high blood pressure/asthma type combo...it'll knock the shit out of that flu tho!
Hope you feel better soon! x
A little something to take your mind of it (though careful of that blood pressure! x)
http://wincestdemon.tumblr.com/post/59633907269
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Date: 2013-11-16 01:59 pm (UTC)Oh yummy! to that tumblr post. I like you even more for it xDDD
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Date: 2013-11-23 04:09 pm (UTC)I love that they're so completely oblivious as to how they sound :)
And poor Bobby!
no subject
Date: 2013-11-23 06:06 pm (UTC)I think Bobby's kinda used to it by this point which it why he's so cross with himself.
I read a great fic (cannot remember by whom, maybe ash? it was very funny) that had poor Ghost!Bobby having to watch them have sex over and over. Now that was a very Poor Bobby : ( x
no subject
Date: 2014-10-17 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-17 12:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-17 12:53 am (UTC)And I was looking at your poetry too, trying to figure out how to write mine.
no subject
Date: 2014-10-17 01:01 am (UTC)I had a tonne of help from fannishliss with my poetry (she has a masters degree in it!) so I expect if you asked her, she could help if she's not too busy with work? xx
no subject
Date: 2014-10-17 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-17 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-18 12:36 am (UTC)