Back in the Saddle

[alexisjane]

Today was supposed to be my first day back at work.
I had two family emergencies (that weren't all that emergency-like after all) before 2pm. So I didn't get much work done. But I did some, so that's a start!

Yesterday I started a thread over at the spn_bunker about first time posting a fic as the filthy lovely somersault_j did that very thing last night and I was thinking how hard it was.
I was going to add my own but then, as usual, being that I like the sound of my own voice way too much, it got a little out of hand and I went the tmi route...just for a change.

So this is it. How I ended up here...believe it or not the abridged version : ) x

The Epic Love Story of Me and Them

It wasn't long after entering the void left by Buffy and Angel that I heard about Supernatural and although it was marketed as an action show with two hot guys in it (to which I was not opposed but not necessarily into) it was the monster of the week, Buffy-esque format that attracted me. I figured I'd give it a go.
How bad could it be.

The pilot had me pretty excited.
The characters weren't too annoying and I could see them becoming something great, the story was good but to be fair, they had me at AC-DC. Anything with that soundtrack was work watching in my book.
I think I watched the first three or four eps before the tv station changed their schedule or I changed mine and then I didn't see it again for a while. And when I did find it again, something happened that had never happened to me before.

I started to watch the ep that just happened to be on and after about ten minutes I had to turn it off. Because it wasn't what it had been before. Because they were talking about stuff that seemed important and there were going to be...spoilers….something which had never concerned me really before.
Hell, I'll skip ahead and read the last page of a book, watch every trailer made and get people to tell me the plot of a movie I want to watch before I see it.
But this. This was different. I didn't want to ruin the story. It seemed important.

So I found the missing eps and caught up. And I loved it. And I kept watching. And I loved it.
And every Hellatus I would go back to the beginning and watch it through against the whole thing was fresh in my mind when the new series started.
And it was funny and it was sad and I fell in love with all the characters and Dean became my 'fictional pretend boyfriend' and all my friends made fun of me and none of them watched it with me and that was just fine.

And then this last summer I was getting so excited for S9, I started watching from the beginning and as I always did, I got to Swan Song and cried and cried as I always do. And I started thinking about the pieces of narration by Chuck and how it would be fab if it really was a book.

And then I figured they have this whole fictional series of books, surely they must exist I real life because apart from anything else, I needed more. I needed to be able to have more than just the episodes to keep me going.
So I googled and eventually ended up on Superwiki. And I milled around there for a bit and then struck on the idea that that weird fan-fiction-Becky-type-thing that they talked about in the show might have spawned a version. But I was reluctant because the whole thing sounded just odd to me. But I looked on Superwiki at some of the terminology as I had no real idea what a 'ship' was or anything and I thought I should inform myself.
Which is when I found my unlikely portal to fanfic.

When I saw the entry and explanation for 'Surprise JDM' I had a laughing fit that lasted about ten minutes.
It didn't appeal to me at all but the fact that someone, not only had written such a thing, but had given it a name just made me feel somehow that everything was right in the world.
And I could not resist.

I googled it. And when a live journal link came up I figured that would be the place to go to as it was mentioned in superwiki so it was legit.

But it wasn't Surprise JDM at all. It was a fic by Mehrin and it was hot and funny and well written and I was amazed. So I read everything that she had written.
And then I worked my way through some names on her flist until I hit ash_carpenter.
And I laughed, I cried, I puked in my mouth a little…from laughing. She freaked me out, squicked me but I got over it and just astounded me with her sick, sick creativity and I couldn't help but comment and squee and bug her and she was patient and kind and replied to every message even though I was a pain.

And then I read Distraction and when I commented I asked her if she thought about doing a sequel about Sam being ruined and she said it would be a good idea. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it and in the end I had an idea for a story in my head.
And just when I was going to bug her some more about writing it, I had this exact thought

"Jesus Christ! The poor woman is not a performing monkey there for your entertainment! Write it yourself you lazy cow!"

So I did.
And I hadn't written anything in such a really long time. And when I was done, I figured it wasn't all that but it wasn't too bad for a first try so I tried not to shake to hard or pass out and wrote ash a grovelly apologetic message, praying that she wouldn't be offended and she was so supremely nice and encouraging and even seemed to like it, I figured I' d just keep going.

And I have : )

Comments

[kalliel]

I adoooooore fandom origins stories, so thank you so much for this! SPN is such a powerful thing, and fandom, and fanfic, and all of these things together has been such a huge part of my life for the last four years or whatever, I love reading about how it came, saw and conquered in the lives of others as well. :) Thank you for sharing!

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

I find it so funny now in rl talking to people, no matter what the subject, I always have to bite my tongue and stop myself from going "Oh, that's like the time when Sam..." or "Of course in SPN that was covered in episode..."

I feel like it's completely taken over my life and all because I thought, "Yeah, that looks okay. It's got monsters in it" Who knew!! x

[ash-carpenter.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* ♥

(And, OMG, I just looked up the Surprise JDM page - LMFAO.)

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

One day I promise I'll stop going on about how awesome you are. You must be sick of it by now!
Was it this page? Surprise! That look on his face just cracks me up everytime!
You can write me an anti-kink Surprise!JDM if you like!* x

*It took me an age to write that sentence! I'm laughing sooo hard!!

[somersault-j.livejournal.com]

Dude, you can't just write something like this. I'm going to make a damn fool out of myself now but I got goosebumps reading 'But this. This was different. I didn't want to ruin the story. It seemed important.'

Google was my friend back then, too. First I found fanfiction written in German of course and then I found LJ and my life should never be the same again.

The true and irretrievable point of no return was when I found tifaching's stories. Sat there with my eyes an inch from the monitor away because I didn't want to miss one filthy thing while watching over my shoulder making sure no one reads along.

Then I've read and read and read some more over the years. Then came this annoying and persistent woman, wait, what was her name? Ah yeah, alexisjane and she got me to post my very first story. I'm still not sure if I should slap her or hug the life out of her ;)

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

Haha, oh Hun : ) Slap then hug...or the other way around. I'm easy ; )

Bet you still had that grin on your face through work today though, right?

I found myself walking through the supermarket today, smiling like a fool, thinking about Jensen getting all panicky. I really hope no-one noticed : / x

[somersault-j.livejournal.com]

And the Surprise!JDM??? LOL

So happy I mentioned him in my header. Don't want to distress someone!! ;)

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Aww, what a wonderful origin story!! What, um ... what is 'surprise JDM,' if I dare ask?

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

Dare, do!
http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Surprise_JDM x

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

BWAHA--that is HYSTERICAL. I especially like that it begins, "Along with the Spanish Inquisition ...," because what comparison could be more apt?? :-D

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Ha, and the picture of JDM that goes with the article! PRICELESS.

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

Isn't it awesome!
It still cracks me up!
But also, the fact that it was that that persuaded me here...idk it's ridiculous! x

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

LOL, finding SPN fanfic, about a year into the show, just changed my life. : ) Reading is one thing, but writing? Terrifying. I started on the kink meme and didn't even write a gen story until, oh...later.

Ash is awesome, isn't she? Her stories, her comments, her humor and horror and porn...LOVE.

And you are a good writer yourself. I've really liked what you've put forward so far and am so looking forward to another fantastic dark fic writer in this fandom!

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just the people on my flist but it does seem like everyone is seriously committed to this once they arrive.
I'm feeling much happier with my writing now I've gone to the dark side : )
Thanks so much for all your encouragement too : ) x

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

Aw, this was lovely to read. There's nothing quite like fandom, I don't think. It's got creativity and community -- and you can write the most dirtybadwrong things you like, and there will probably still be someone who wants to read them. ;)

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

It's amazing but I guess that's the beauty of the internet. In a pool of this many people, there has to be at least one person that likes what we like. It's awesome : ) x

[ephermeralk.livejournal.com]

LOL. I've actually never seen the "surpise!JDM" page, but this line People who are heavily invested in the OTP can find this distressing. had me laughing my ass off.

Because even though I'm a pretty solid OTP-porn-'er myself, I'm never really distressed when other characters show up...or... I click this amazing button on my computer with a back arrow.

It's a pretty amazing thing.

Anyways, that was an ADORABLE story of fandom finding. I definitely read in the harry potter fandom back when I was like seventeen and the books were coming out, and in Buffy, of course--because Joss Whedon is a cinema/tv god, but yeah.

Supernatural's got a kicking fandom base :D

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

I think maybe that's why it amused me so much, the thought of people flipping their laptops because JDM just showed up and messed with their OTP...I just think that's hilarious.
I mean, I am Dean/Sam through and through but I read everything. Even the stuff I really wish I hadn't, I've at least learnt a lesson in discernment from.
Also I'm a mean cow and am just amused by people freaking out over something which, let's face it, no-one should really find distressing.
To be fair, I think I would be pissed off if I went to read something marked as wincest and it turned out to be Het *gags* so maybe I shouldn't be so mean : )

I haven't read any HP and only a bit of Buffy. I like ash's Spike/Lindsey stuff *sighs* Makes me want to re-watch Angel with my ship-goggles on : )x

[the-diggler.livejournal.com]

I had to look up that surprise JDM entry. WTF? LOL! The picture they've chosen of him just makes it all that more hilarious :s

[alexisjane.livejournal.com]

Isn't funny! I love that so much. You can tell the mods take the whole distressing part really seriously : ) x