Loved ones

[alexisjane]

It's Valentines Day and the sky is falling in so I get to stay in and do lots of writing work and listen to the rain.

Yesterday, my good friend came and took me out for lunch, which turned out to be her taking me out for a surprise Valentines lunch, which consisted of her nagging me that I don't date for two hours.
It was very romantic.

Anyway, after three years, I fear she may be finally wearing me down.
So what else to do than make a poll and let you vote on my life decisions!

I have been profoundly bad at dating/relationships in the past and do not trust myself one iota to make a good choice about this and after twelve (oh god) years off the dating scene, I think I could do with some advice.

Here's the song that I listen to every Valentines to help you through the poll. I find it inspirational  ♥ x

Who says romance is dead : ) x

[Poll #1956709]

Comments

[kalliel]

I've never dated anyone before, nor had the inclination, so lollll l am the #1 least qualified person for this poll! But only date if you wanna date, or if you want a romantic SO in your life (or a friend with benefits, or a casual thing, or any other dating-like companion)! Or if you wanna go out to eat with people who aren't goading you into dating, lolol. :P Otherwise it'll just be a chore! Personally, I'd keep the whole TV/fandom thing on the down low for the first date, though if it comes up naturally and you both start talking about geeky things hey, maybe you were made for each other. XD THOUGH LOL ULTIMATELY. SHOULD I EVER REQUIRE A ROMANTIC PARTNER. I would need him or her to be understanding and receptive to the idea of fandom, even if he or she didn't necessarily do it. Though I think it'd be cool to have an SO who also did fandom, too, haha--same or different.

Oh, and I guess like. Actual compatibility/unlikely to be a psycho killer/not gross, insulting, or undermining would also be good things to go with as a baseline. You know. XDD

[septembers-coda.livejournal.com]

This comment was mostly comprised of things I also wanted to say. I dated a fair bit and finally decided romance (that doesn't come from my mighty pen, that is) wasn't for me. I have a platonic life-partner and couldn't be happier about that.

But then, you know, sex. There's the whole question of that, and of what you want in that way, but I for one think it can be worked out without having to tie yourself (tee hee-- pun intended) to conventional means or dating. Do what's best for you.

And good luck! You could find those gorgeous green eyes, enticing freckles, or gruff voice that feels like fingers running down your spine. Or even more than one of those things! You never know. But I say, look for the kind heart and capacity for deeper understanding. (Of course, you wouldn't get that from Dean, so maybe I know nothing about what *you* need). :-)
We love you no matter what, so just remember that. <3

[blackrabbit42.livejournal.com]

I think the best place to meet someone (besides Home Depot, where I plan to meet my next husband, because I want a man who can do manly things like fixing stuff that needs to be fixed) is through some sort of interest/hobby/activity that you enjoy, so hopefully the person you meet would be like-minded.

:)

[saltandburnboys.livejournal.com]

LMAO! OMG - that should be 'likes animals' not is like an animal as my answer implies. Too many fucking years on the Kinkmeme, dammit! Lol!

Btw, my advice totally comes from someone who doesn't date...so take all my answers with a pinch of salt! But I think you should - I would love to find someone. I really do think love is a wonderful thing if you find it! :-)

xx

[somersault-j.livejournal.com]

LOL but 'like animals' is a very good advice, too ;)

[saltandburnboys.livejournal.com]

Lol! ;-)

xx

[siennavie.livejournal.com]

I don't know how serious an answer you wanted, but it matters to me that you find someone good to and good for you.

#1 "If you want a romantic relationship, you should try" If you don't want or care for one, don't force it.

#2 I think online dating makes more sense in this day and age. And you usually get to know each other via email/text first instead of straight up face-to-face which might be easier for the socially awkward. Although, I think face-to-face gives you a better instant read, so I encourage attending public events as well. But you have to be comfortable with introducing yourself and striking up conversations with strangers.

#3 Don't lower your expectations, but don't judge based on the cover only. Getting along on an intellectual and emotional level is what matters. I tell my husband, there have only been 3 men I've met in my whole life that I instantly felt comfortable with - no posturing, no need to pretend, no ever explaining myself. One was gay, one had a love affair with academics, and the last one was him.

And you never know, you might also get a wrapping just as gorgeous as Jensen :)

#4 If the topic comes up, why not. Just don't lose sight of him for JA. lol.

#5 If he's a reasonable and understanding guy who shares your sensibilities, he'll get it. My husband knows I write Wincest and that I've written gun!porn. I'm sure he'd be cool with the rest - I just don't share out of my own embarrassment! :P He knows it's fiction and that I don't condone everything irl.

Look for a self-sufficient, responsible guy who shares your core values (e.g. religion, children), wants to make you happy (because that makes him happy), loves his family and loves you just the way you are.

[king-wizard.livejournal.com]

well it all depends on what you want! and if you're not sure what you want, then maybe try a bunch of different things and see what you get the most out of! :)

for meeting people...maybe you could try to find a class about something you're interested in? then you might find someone who shares at least one interest and you wouldn't have to just approach someone out of the blue, you would have something to talk about.

as for fangirl/fanfic...again, it depends on what you want, i think. sometimes it's difficult to keep fannish-ness inside. esp. if you do the fangirl flail when you get really excited lol.

personally a lotta my conversations start "i read this fic..." and i spend a lot of time talking about ideas for fic and writing them. i had to be with someone who could handle me telling them about the latest non-con gay incest fic i read lol.

but some people like having things to themselves, i think. so it really depends on what you want. you might be surprised and find someone who like doesn't care or someone whose really interested, or have someone running for the hills lol. but you might like having a ~deep dark secret life~ lol. or something in between.

you're super welcome for all the vauge advice. <3 happy valentine's day!

[idontwant-candy.livejournal.com]

i'm laughing so hard. oh god. YOU.

i think online dating might be best. i'm very socially awkward (i have social anxiety disorder and i'm a Hikikomori, which basically means im a hermit) and that's the route i'll go if i ever feel like finally doing away with my shell.

do you go to church? singles groups...

[caranfindel.livejournal.com]

My advice is, don't look for dates. Look for friends. Find a guy you like as a friend and see if it turns into something more, without the pressure of Dating.

[masja-17.livejournal.com]

I really like caranfindel's advice, that's the way I would go if I had the time. House two, kids and a lousy ex!

And internet of course! :)

And keep on watching SPN for the good looking guys, but sorry, they're taken... :(

[somersault-j.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha, I laughed my way through the options here :D I totally wanted to pick 'It's Dean or nothing' for the first one but then I chose 'Book club' in the second one and realized that we never would find a guy like Dean in a book club.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ♥

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

LOLOL. I hope you're happy with whatever you try.

[brightly-lit.livejournal.com]

Some of these comments are epic. I always thought I'd find love only to find not only didn't I, but judging by virtually every relationship I've ever seen, I'm much happier because I didn't. Why? Because boys are dirty and smelly and have cooties. Also, SOO often selfish and lazy. You don't need that shit, so unless you find someone you really like for who they are (which fortunately only necessitates friendship, not the pain of dating), I say bag it.

Oh, and that poll is hilarious. ;-)