alexisjane

Why, yes, Life, I would love to get a stye on my eye this weekend.
But what say you put it on the one that doesn't already have a weirdo growth thing on it so I can really scare the children when I go outside? That way I'll have bonus limited vision in both eyes for a change! You're too good to me ♥

A quickie of some small stuff.
Look it...!  ...All the messages!!  My aim today is to try and clear my inbox. So be prepared for some short and sweet replies to stuff that you've totally forgotten about sending me.

I am going to try and avoid my feed until after the finale because it's just too risky. I've come so close to being spoiled and I will become homicidal if anyone ruins this fucking ep for me! You know who you are! *glares*

Why are toasted bagels hotter than the surface of the sun? Why?

I've been getting stuff back from my BB betas and I'm at a loss. They have all worked so fucking hard and have all contributed so much to my ragged little thing. The draft I sent them was evidently much more horrible than I first thought, I feel so guilty about it and I don't know how to make it up to them. What do you get/gift/make/send someone that you feel like you can't adequately thank in words? What do you guys get for your betas? I offered somersault_j 20mins in a dark room with Jared and Jeff but she turned it down so I don't really know what else I can do. They are amazing and I need them to know.

This week the weather has risen above 17ºC which means I finally feel like a human being again : ) Anything below that and I feel less than able to function. There is sun and I can have the windows open without having to wrap up like Nanuk of the North. It's heavenly.

I finished S1 of The Blacklist Holy shit! Just so so good and that last scene *clings to it* just that beautiful, quiet( spoilery )I LOVE it!

I've been looking after my friend's dog all week and he goes home today. I'm going to miss his face. And the fact that he makes dog noises that sound like a person pretending to make dog noises.

There's probably more, but mostly I wanted to say the thing about the bagels...

Oh and if you haven't read ephermeralk's Warming Up (to 98.6º) you should do that! It's a perfect Sunday afternoon movie-fic, with a particularly nice picture of some gummy worms in it : )

Have a lovely day, m'Darlin's! ♥ x

I'm an idiot. I just bleached my insides.

I decided to really quickly clean the bathroom and sprayed every surface with waaaaay to much bleach spray and started scrubbing. There is no ventilation in there otherwise I would have opened a window when I thought it smelled really overpowering.

But now EVERYTHING smells like a really disgusting swimming pool. So unless there's been some freakish swimteam accident directly outside my window, I think I may have bleach burnt my nasal passages. That a thing, right? Bleach burn?

Everything smells gross anyway. Even my hand cream, which smells seriously good (Soap&Glory Hand Food, it's amazing!)

None of this has anything to do with porn. My apologies x

18.5k into my BB...finally getting to the sexytimes.
No-one's going to read this.
Also, I have no idea how to warn for this without ruining the story. Fuck.

Anyway.

Here's a gif.
This was my face when I accidentally listened to some het today *shivers* x

Tuesday!

Strangely still feels like Monday, probably due to sleep deprivation or the stupid dark days. Already can't wait for summer!
Anyway.
I read a couple of things this week that I loved and just wanted to put them here mostly so I don't lose them but also incase anyone else missed them and is interested.
I've been here five minutes so you're probably all way ahead of me but these are the four of the ones I like/wish I had written.

( moan and rant about the show )
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Title: An Intimate History Of Collecting
Rating: R
Genre/Pairing: Gen, Pre-series through to 8.01
Characters: Dean, Sam, John
Words: 4,500
Warnings:
Summary: Okay, so. Here’s the thing you need to understand: Dean Winchester collects other people’s medication.
Read it here

Written by astarloa
I love this. I love the writing style, the language is perfect and it's just so dark, like crawl in a hole and hide dark. It got me in all the right places. Some of it might be hard to read.
But it is beautiful.
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This is an AO3 link to  Benny knows best. It's porn...lovely, lovely porn.

Courtesy of a rec from skeletncloset (thank you so much darlin'!) Written by the_diggler
I can't begin to say how filthy this is but I loved it!! I'm strictly a Wincest girl normally but there's something about the Dean/Benny thing...well I won't go into it. I think I've already filled my TMI quota for the day : )
Just don't blame me if you don't pay attention to the warnings (there are a few!)
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Title: Boundless Love
Author: brightly_lit
Rating: PG-13 for language, a corpse, and disturbing situations/concepts
Genre: gen, deathfic, angst, horror, hurt!Dean
Characters: Dean, Sam's body
Word Count: 1,000
Warnings: character death, spoilers through 9.01
Summary: Sam didn't say yes to Ezekiel, and a broken Dean struggles to come to terms with it. THIS IS NOT A FEEL-GOOD FIC.
Read it here

This made me weepy when I first read it. But goddammit if I don't keep going back and reading it again! Really good. Really really.
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And last, but in no way least, and to end on a fun one

Sex in the Water 4.5k of crack. Making it so we never confuse porn with real life again.

If you haven't read ash_carpenter...well, then I can't imagine what you have been doing with yourselves. I am unashamedly a fan. I have read (and commented on! She's no doubt sick of me) almost everything of hers I think, except a couple of things that I am genuinely too frightened to read. I'm waiting to be in a very dark place before I go there. No really, she's that fucked up. It's why I love her so.
Her Anti-Kink series is utterly hilarious and this one I think might have been the one when I actually peed myself a little.
Read them all but maybe limber up first.
Pelvic floor, ladies!
Pelvic floor.
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